Where in the World are the Richardsons?

Help Wanted

2009-11-19T16:36:00.003+08:00

You might notice a lot more misspeallings ans sentences that end in prepositions from now on. That's because I've lost my editor. Yep, Annie has succumbed to the peer pressure and started her own blog. Chech her out at chitchatfromchina.blogspot.com

Air travel observations...revisited

2009-11-18T12:33:00.005+08:00

We've touched on this before, but given that we spend quite a bit of time on airplanes, with Scott's business travel and the family travel we do, we see a lot of odd things. Airplanes are like melting pots for the weird and bizarre. On a 45 minute flight from Grand Rapids to Chicago you're not likely to discover your seat mate's wacky behavior, but on a 14 hour flight from Shanghai to Chicago, one's warts are on display for all to see.

Mad farters, domestic disputes, nervous breakdowns, "BO", over talkers, etc. You name it and we've seen it ... and/or smelled it.

However, it's not just the passengers that have us scratching our heads from time to time. The airlines themselves are a bit quirky. For example, on a recent flight, our boarding passes had the words "nonsmoker" printed on them. A few perplexing questions popped in our heads. Hasn't smoking been banned on airplanes for years? Does it matter if one is a smoker ... are they called out for some reason? Was there any question in any one's minds that Juliet and Lillie were nonsmokers?

In our opinion, they should have used that line on the card to call out one of the qualities from above to alert the flight crew ... i.e. "passes gas something fierce ... don't let this guy eat kidney beans or cabbage." That would benefit everyone in the long run.

215 Days Later

2009-11-15T07:53:00.004+08:00

Greetings friends! After a hiatus of about 7 months we're back to the blog. A lot has happened since we were in Guangzhou in April and posted that Lillie's adoption was final. Some of the highlights:

1. May - We headed south to Sanya (aka the Hawaii of China). While not exactly luaus and pineapples, it was a very pleasant smog-free beach. And where else in the world can you stay at the Ritz-Carlton and see not one, but two sets of parents strip their little boys down to nothin' to pee in the bushes?

2. Summer - The girls spent the summer in Dallas and Lillie officially became a US citizen. The only difference now between her and a natural-born citizen is that she cannot be President. Governor of California? No problem ... just not the leader of the good ole' US of A.

3. August - We moved to a new house here in Shanghai. The old house was about 15 minutes from Carrefour and given Annie's new affinity to munch on frog spleen we decided to get a little closer to the store.

4. Fall - Shanna turned one and Lillie celebrated number five. Both are doing well even through Shanna at 14 months old is now pushing 24 pounds and Lillie only weighs 28. A career as an NFL linebacker might be in her future.

5. October - For the Chinese National Day holiday, we decided not to go to Beijing for the 60th anniversary celebration of the People's Republic of China (once you've seen one tank motoring down the streets of an urban metropolis, you've seen them all). Instead, Anne, Scott, Juliet, and Lillie headed to Europe for a few days of vacation. We hit Paris, Frankfurt, and Berlin before heading back home to China.

6. October - Shanna began walking which has us all a bit on edge. Given her height and weight, a rumbling, bumbling toddler can wreak a bit of havoc.

We will get you caught up over the next few weeks on more of the going ons around here, but in summary, we are alive, well, and thriving in our home away from home.

It's a girl!

2009-04-15T19:49:00.002+08:00

That's right ... we are officially a family of four as Lillie is now legally our daughter. Anne, Scott, and Lillie have criss-crossed China this week and all that's left is to get her U.S. documents (hopefully tomorrow). More to come once we get back to Shanghai this weekend.

What time is it?

2009-04-11T22:20:00.002+08:00

Often in hotels, airports, museums, and maybe trendy restuarants you'll see a series of clocks with various times from major cities around the world. Los Angeles, New York, Chicago, London, Paris, Hong Kong, etc. tend to be popular choices to represent the time zones that dot the globe.

Today we went into one of places we frequent for haircuts, massages, pedicures, etc. and noticed they had done a little remodeling. A fresh coat of paint and new accessories adorned the friendly salon. One of the more curious new additions was a series of three clocks above a doorway. Sidney and Shanghai occupied the two clocks on the left, which makes sense because the employees are all Chinese and many of the clientele hail from either the U.S. or Australia. The third clock, however, contained a very interesting choice to represent time zones in the U.S. ... Boise. Now, we don't know about you, but we can honestly say no matter where we've been, we have NEVER scratched our heads and thought, "Man, I wonder what time it is in Idaho right now."

Newspaper Models

2009-04-09T21:18:00.002+08:00

We cancelled our subscription to the english language paper, Shanghai Daily, when we thought we were moving back to the U.S., so it took about half a day and a barrage of phone calls for Annie to realize that a picture of she and girls taken last fall was part of a 1/3 page article on Wednesday.

They volunteered to be models in a fashion show for charity last fall and the spring version of the fair is coming up soon ... thus the article in the "Life" section of the paper.

Let's just say Juliet REALLY enjoyed showing off the newspaper to her friends at school today, and Mr. Chen wanted a copy to show his friends that his boss made the newspaper. Here's the link to the online version of the picture and article:

http://www.shanghaidaily.com/article/?id=396892&type=Feature

More Pig Pancreas Please!

2009-04-05T01:29:00.002+08:00

A few months ago we announced that we were moving back to Dallas. So for the last 6 weeks Scott has been living in Texas and Annie has been preparing in Shanghai for our move home. This week, however, Scott was asked by his company to instead move back to Shanghai and take a new role back on the other side of the world.

So for those of you looking forward to this blog switching over to the "Texas Tales" or the "Barbeque Biographies" we apologize, as it appears our escapades in the country on the other side of the Pacific will continue. We just couldn't pass up the thought of being able to munch on fried minnows or sip seal penis wine for another few years!

Mmmm good

2009-03-30T01:53:00.003+08:00

Airplane food ... years ago it used to be served on flights in the U.S. It was salty, tasteless, and smelled up the plane worse than a Diet, Low Sodium, Half the Calorie, Roasted Salmon Budget Gourmet meal smells up the lunch room at work. However, times have changed ... nowadays if you want to eat on your flight, you have to pony up $14 for 6 Triscuits, 2 Fig Newtons, and a box of raisins that are all congealed together.

Chinese airlines, however, have not yet adopted the "pay to eat" concept on their domestic flights. You get a meal on EVERY flight ... even a short 45 minute trek provides one with a little sustenance for the descent. The food, though, leaves a bit to be desired. The choices from the lovely flight attendants are often "meat or fish." Now, we don't know about you but the definition of meat in our book can take on a number of possibilities. It could be beef, chicken, pork ... heck maybe even lamb. The definition in China, though, can be even broader. Thus, we typically stay away from the entree and just take the box of goodies that accompanies the fragrant meat or fish.

On a recent flight, the meal contained two staples in the "box of goodness" ... apple chips and a plain roll. Both aren't bad and all of us enjoyed them. The other two add-ons in the box were a bit out of the ordinary ... "Yi Lin Dried Radish" and "Onion Cookies with Original Flavour." We don't know about you, but radishes aren't at the top of our food chain to begin with and when you add the elements of dehydration, random oils, and spices, those puppies are headed straight to the garbage.

The onion cookies were almost tempting just because of the marketing slogan on the outside of the package "First Class all the way. Alliance regal presentation is distinctive both inside and out." Looks like a shortbread tastes like an onion ... that, my friends, is certainly distinctive!

Pick, pick, pick

2009-03-29T11:24:00.000+08:00

We have a problem … a consistent, disgusting problem. We have a "serial picker" in the house. We first discovered the problem about 6 months ago when we noticed multiple walls each with a giant booger. At the time, we investigated the incident with our only two suspects … Juliet and Lillie. Each was interrogated but a confession wasn't obtained. Unfortunately, the search proved fruitless and the case went cold.

The serial picker then went underground for a few months with no traces of crime popping up. Then this week … boogers … on the wall … big green boogers taunting us again. The suspects are tough as they are both tight-lipped in their denials. We don't know if it's a conspiracy and they're both in on it or if it's a one-man job, but we cannot shake a confession.

In fact, they are now even implicating others … with Shanna (who doesn't walk or crawl) and Xue Feng (our housekeeper) being the latest to be accused by the suspects. We can only imagine how that would go if we called Scott's administrative assistant to help with translation. "Hello yes, can you please call Xue Feng and ask her if she's been picking big, nasty boogers and then smearing them on the walls?" We suspect we'd be looking for a new housekeeper.

A Free Concert

2009-03-22T10:56:00.002+08:00

Yesterday we all headed over to the fabric market to get some tailor-made clothes. This place is heaven ... it's three floors of stall after stall of fabric ... each with their own tailor. You go pick your fabric, pick your style, and a week later you have tailor-made clothes for 1/3 the price of something off the rack in the U.S.

Lillie always has a good time when we go to the fabric market. She (who we now call the mayor of Shanghai) fraternizes with all the workers in Chinese while we're getting sized and usually ends up getting some trinkets, candy, dried fish, or dehydrated duck tongue for the road.

Yesterday, when we first walked into the shop, we knew right away this trip to the fabric market would be one for the ages. Lillie made fast friends with all five of the workers in the shop and immediately began singing along with them in Chinese. After about five minutes of entertaining them with her banter she either decided to start singing solos or they asked her to (we never really got the exact story). She then proceeded to sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star at the top of her four year old lungs ... in both English and Chinese. By the end of the English version about 12 people had packed into the small shop and rewarded her rendition with a plethora of applause.

If this wasn't embarrassing enough, she announced to everyone "I'll be back next week!" to advertise her next performance as we left the store.

Up up and away

2009-03-20T12:00:00.003+08:00

Yesterday marked Lillie's first airplane voyage. Here's a few pics capturing the moment.

The honest truth

2009-03-19T04:13:00.003+08:00

With Scott in the U.S. Annie is having to utilize her broken Mandarin on a much more regular basis. Given this recent influx of Chinese speech, Mr. Chen has been particularly impressed ... complimenting her frequently on her recent rapid progress.

Yesterday he complimented her again and said Lillie had also told him that she thought her mom's Chinese was very good. Annie turned to Lillie and thanked her for the compliment. In a serious dead-panned voice Lillie looked right at her and said, "Mama I didn't tell him that you spoke good Chinese ... I told him that your Chinese was pretty bad and that I can't understand you at all!"

Nothing like a little brutal honesty from a four year-old to crush the emotional high of a little personal development.

A few pics

2009-02-27T20:55:00.003+08:00

We haven't posted many pics lately so here's one of each girl from last week:

Juliet before heading off to "Wacky Day" at school:

Lillie getting ready for a day with dad:

Shanna looking like a 64 year old Chinese woman:

Do you need a forklift for that?

2009-02-26T11:55:00.003+08:00

We have been traveling quite a bit the last few years and have made several trips back and forth to the U.S. while we've lived in Shanghai. In China, the airlines really don't fool around ... they only allow one carry-on ... it can be a purse, a suitcase, a computer bag, a baby doll, a satchel, or an attache. It doesn't matter the size or the substance ... one carry-on.

This makes overhead bin space usually easy to get, but can cause for some odd scenes such as when grandpa and grandma decide they each want to take rice cookers to the grand kids in Wuhan. There's nothing like two five-foot Chinese people with their chins resting on their knees because two of the biggest rice cookers ever seen by the human eye are wedged between their seats and the ones in front of them.

In the U.S. however, overhead bin space is at a premium. If you're not one of the first 13 people on a 120 seat plane then you're going to be out of luck. It's absolutely ridiculous ... especially when Freida Jo from Tallahassee gets her panties in a wad because they can't accommodate the Lazy Boy she picked up while "antiquing" in Cleveland. You just want to shake these people ... it's called a "CARRY" on ... if you can't "CARRY" it then put it underneath.

Given our immense travel experience we have a few suggestions for rule improvements for carry-on baggage:

1. If you have to ask aloud "can someone help me lift this?" then it's too big
2. If you are bringing a safety seat for your child you must forfeit 1 carry-on. No one wants to get decapitated by the clumsy, beatdown dad who loses control of the Graco while balancing a car seat, a stroller, four McDonald's sacks, a pizza from Sbarro, and a 300 pound diaper bag.
3. If the placing of one's carry-on involves standing on the seat or being hoisted by a buddy then you're out of luck.
4. A backpack hidden underneath one's shirt to try to pass as a pregnant man is not considered "part of one's person."
5. Musical instruments do not classify as "personal items"

A Little Bling

2009-02-21T13:06:00.002+08:00

Yesterday Annie and Scott stopped in at a women's clothing store as they were having a massive outerwear sale that couldn't be missed. After browsing for a while and selecting about 6 items to try on, Annie made her way to the dressing room. After popping out to look in the mirror, Annie was greeted by a smiling sales clerk who proceeded to make sure "all the parts were in the right place." A little surprised by the rub down but determined to try on all the pieces Annie headed behind the curtain again.

When she came out the next time she was greeted by not one but two sales clerks and two curious shoppers. All thought she looked fabulous but was missing something. They all began to pilfer through the costume jewelry that was strategically placed near the dressing room area. After much discussion (and what appeared to be several arguments), they decided on some terribly huge and gaudy gold chains as the perfect accessory to the sleak black and grey number that she was modeling. A wide-eyed Annie turned to Scott who had covered his face to hold in the laughter.

After convincing the "help" that she didn't have enough chest hair to really justify buying the 1970s necklace, Annie finished trying on the items and quickly rushed out to meet her waiting husband with a frustrated look on her face. Reassuringly, Scott told her to look on the bright side ... "If Mr. T ever calls wanting to know where to find some new bling, you'll know where to send him."

Golden Arches

2009-02-18T20:55:00.002+08:00

Yesterday McDonald's announced that it would open an additional 500 stores in China over the next 3 years. McDonald's isn't bad here in China ... it's pretty close to its counterpart in the states ... but not exactly:

In the U.S. the most asked question is "Would you like fries with that?" ...
In China it is "Would you like fries or a bowl of cold corn with that?"

In the U.S. pickles are standard ...
In China, pickles are replaced by raw cucumbers

In the U.S. they claim that they'll make your burger the way you like it ...
In China a special request is greeted by a blank stare and a plethora of confusion amongst the army of smiling staffers

In the U.S. you are greeted by a surly human being who appears to want to punch you in the face ...
In China when a person walks into the place every worker (including the fry cook) shouts "Welcome" in Chinese

In the U.S. there are very few restaurants without drive thru's ...
In China the drive thru is nonexistent and the dining area is so packed with people that those patrons waiting for a place to sit will just come set their food on your table and hover until you're finished.

In the U.S. the most popular sandwich is the Big Mac ...
In China the most popular sandwich has to be the Filet O' Fish ... you wouldn't believe the number of Chinese people that are getting 4 days worth of caloric intake from that tasty fried cod patty

Aussie Speak

2009-02-16T20:47:00.003+08:00

As we have said before, Juliet's first grade teacher is a wonderful woman from Australia. She has been such a great teacher for Juliet. However, we're a little worried what the kids in America are going to think about some of the "Queen's English" that Juliet has picked up. Here are a few of phrases Juliet has used this year along with their "American English" equivalent:

Mummy = Mommy
Half past five = Five thirty
Pigeon hole = Cubbie hole
Pattie pans = Muffin cups
Have a go = Give it a try
Ring them up = Call them on the phone

There's nothing we can do, but the first time Juliet says "it's high time we have a spot of tea in the afternoon" we'll know it's time to get that kid back to Texas and re-teach her about Dr. Pepper and barbeque.

Headed Home

2009-02-14T15:36:00.003+08:00

As many of you know, a few weeks ago we found out that Scott is moving to a new position in the company, which will take us back to Dallas. While Scott will start his new job in Dallas soon, Annie and the girls will remain in Shanghai until the end of the school year.

Although we are excited to get back to the country that is home to On the Border and Outback Steakhouse, we are really going to miss China. We had no idea when we decided over two years ago to take this assignment that we would find a home away from home like no other. When we think back we could never have imagined:

That we would get used to the smell of fish.
That Juliet would learn about economics in first grade.
That we could become so close to Xue Feng and Mr. Chen despite effectively communicating with hand signals and about 25 Chinese words.
That we would meet lifelong friends who we will always keep in touch with.
That one human being can balance a couch and a refrigerator on the back of a bicycle.
That Annie would not learn how to use chopsticks ("ya'll got a fork in this joint?").
That Scott's digestive system would "have issues" on days he doesn't eat rice.
That two beautiful Chinese girls would make our lives more complete.

We'll continue to keep you updated on our plans and preparations and for now, "Chopstixchronicles" will not end...even once we are all settled back in Texas. It seems many of you think our girls and daily happenings are funny, so at least for a while, we'll try to keep you entertained.

We can't say too much about it here, but for those of you who have asked, we will be going home as a family of four. And hopefully in the next year or so, Annie and Scott will return to China to once again officially add to our brood.

Please keep the children in your prayers over the next several weeks. Scott will return to Dallas on the 23rd and for those of you that know our family well, you know Annie hasn't seen the inside of an oven for eight or nine years. Pray the children can survive on EasyMac and PB&J until May.

Driver, Weatherman, and Mom ... Rolled into One

2009-02-14T14:57:00.002+08:00

We have mentioned many times how great Mr. Chen (our driver) is. He always goes the extra mile to help us out whenever we need it. One of his previously unknown qualities, however, is starting to really come out. He has an insanely accurate weather forecasting ability ... so good that he should be a meteorologist.

This time of year it is particularly cold in Shanghai, but on Wednesday and Thursday it was beautiful. The temperatures were in the low 70s and we had clear blue skies. So on Friday morning Scott checked outside and it was still fairly warm so he decided not to wear a coat to work. Mr. Chen spied him coming out to the car and immediately ran up to him and the following conversation ensued:

Mr. Chen: "Sir, jintian ni yao yifu" which means "Sir, today you will need a coat"
Scott: "Mei guan shi, wo hao de" which means "No problem, I will be OK"
Mr. Chen: "NO!" which means "No!"
Scott: "Wo hao de" which mean "I will be OK"
Mr. Chen: "NO! Jintian xia wu, hen leng ... xia yu hen da" which means "No, this afternoon it will be very cold and the rain will be heavy."

Mr. Chen told Scott to go back inside to get his coat. Following orders, Scott reluctantly went inside to get his coat. Around lunchtime Scott went outside without his coat and snickered to himself ... "its warmer now than this morning." So when leaving the office he decided to carry his coat to specifically prove that Mr. Chen had been quite inaccurate in his weather forecast. However, upon exiting the revolving door Scott was blasted with rush of frigid air that forced him to drop his computer bag to the ground and throw on his coat.

As he got in the car Mr. Chen turned back to him and said, "Hen leng" which means "It's cold." Disgusted Scott thought to himself, "fine so he was right about the temperature, but it's completely dry outside." At that minute as he placed the ear buds for his I Pod into his ears he looked up to see 5 huge rain drops simultaneously pelt the windshield. Without hesitation, Mr. Chen giggled and turned back to Scott to acknowledge his own brilliance ... "xia yu" (rain) he proclaimed.

Is that stuff legal?

2009-02-13T19:41:00.000+08:00

One of the vivid childhood memories we have from Halloween is the black cauldron filled with dry ice to give kids the feeling there was something spooky brewing in the pot. However somewhere along the line, between the Reagan Administration and Cato Cailin’s rise to fame, dry ice became nonexistent in the U.S.

Here in China, however, dry ice hasn’t lost its luster. We’re not sure of the safety of its prevalence, but it sure is handy. Have a bag a frozen crustaceans you need to transport? … Dry ice to the rescue. Have a long drive home but don’t want to eat your ice cream until you’re in the comfort of your Lazy Boy? No problem … all ice cream shops keep dry ice on-hand and guarantee the icy goodness of your frozen treat for up to 1.5 hours.

Of course it could make for an embarrassing encounter at the office:

“Whoa Bill, how did you scald your hand? Barbeque accident? Lawnmower debacle? Power tool mishap?”

“Nope, just fumbled the Rocky Road.”

Regional Indifference

2009-02-12T19:38:00.002+08:00

We often write about the many differences we encounter on a daily basis between China and the U.S. However, today we're going to write about something that we've observed as a universal constant ... incessant elevator button pushing.

It doesn't matter if you're in Dallas, New York, Shanghai or Inner Mongolia ... if you're waiting for an elevator, every person who walks up will press the Up or Down arrow, even though it's already lit up. Do people truly believe the more the button is pushed the faster the elevator will come? It's as if they think the elevator is saying to itself "14 people have pressed that button in the last 16.2 seconds, I better hurry my arse up and get down there."

Our favorite (and he exists everywhere also) is "Mr. Multiple Elevator Button Pusher Guy." You know who we're talking about ... it's the guy who pushes the button ... waits ... then pushes the button again ... waits ... and then again. It's like a vicious death spiral that said OCD man can't pull himself out of. There's usually a disgusted huffing and puffing that follows after the third button push before the frustration gets the best of him and he just takes the stairs, or better yet decides to ride the opposite direction in hopes that it will be faster to ride 67 stories up before heading back down to the ground level.

So as you head to work tomorrow and push the elevator button so many times that you hyperextend your finger, you can find solace in the fact there is a little old Chinese man on the other side of world that has just done the exact same thing.

Major Eruption

2009-02-08T21:07:00.012+08:00

There are times at which as a parent you are "in the zone." You and your spouse are clicking on all cylinders, the house is running smoothly, the kids aren't biting, screaming, vomiting, etc, etc, etc.

We were in one of those zones this weekend ... all the kids were doing well and Annie and Scott were feeling really good about themselves. This afternoon, we were able snap some cute pictures of Shanna:

However, as they say, all good things must come to an end. After finishing a great family dinner, the sweet, innocent, darling pictured above turned the evening on its head. She was sitting with Annie when Scott heard an atrocious grunting noise coming from the other room. At first Scott thought it was a lumberjack trying to pass a kidney stone, but instead found Annie chuckling as Shanna geared up to "drop some friends off at the pool."

Scott went off to finish the dishes, but a few minutes later, was startled by Annie's shrieking voice, "Scott, I need you ... NOW." When he arrived on the scene, all he could see was poop ... poop on Annie ... poop on the bed ... poop covering the baby from shoulder blade to ankle. It was everywhere. We were able to get her clothes off somehow, but not before losing a wayward turd onto the floor.

The baby, sensing an opportunity for fun, started kicking and moving as violently as possible spraying poop in every possible direction. This kid, who, five months ago was born with spina bifida and had people wondering if she'd ever move her legs was using her powerful femurs to cover us in feces. Needless to say, we don't feel like we're "in the zone" anymore.

Progress ... sort of

2009-02-05T20:26:00.002+08:00

We wrote before about Lillie's singing prowess or lack thereof, but she is making progress. Tonight we asked her to sing "Baa Baa Black Sheep" to see how far she'd come:

Bla bla sheep sheep have you any wools?
Yesso yesso three bags four.
One for my miss and one for the sis who is down the street.
Bla bla sheep sheep have you any wools?
Yesso yesso three bags fourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

As you can see not exactly quite right yet. So you can imagine our surpise when we asked her to sing "Row Your Boat" (which we had never done before) and it came out perfect ... kind of.

Row row row your boat
Gently down the stream
If you see a croc-a-dile
Don't forget to scream

Not the same version we learned back in the 70s, but some good advice as we get close to the summer months.

Oops

2009-02-02T21:58:00.003+08:00

Tonight when Scott got home from work, his lovely bride was telling him about her fabulous day, which included volunteering for an hour in Juliet's first grade class. He asked her what she did in the class and she had this to say: "Actually Juliet's teacher (who is a lovely Australian lady) had never heard of Groundhog Day so I taught the class all about it!" She was so proud of herself for helping shape the young first graders' minds.

Fast forward to a few minutes ago when the following conversation took place as Scott was checking the headlines:

Scott: "Well Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow so 6 more weeks of winter."
Anne: "No if he saw his shadow that means spring is nigh upon us."
Scott: "That's not what Yahoo thinks ... they say this long, cold winter is going to continue because Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow."
Anne: "Crap! I spent 15 minutes telling the first graders the wrong thing today ... I even made some handouts. I am so going to get fired from volunteer duty."

Singapore Pictures

2009-02-02T19:56:00.007+08:00

Here's a photo montage from the Singapore leg of our vacation:

Juliet ready for her day at the zoo. Even in sunny Singapore, a 6 year old in shades garnered a fair amount of attention:

Scott and Juliet learning about white tigers (Is he 32 or 52?):

Juliet posing with a kangaroo (Her teacher is from Australia so we thought this might earn her some extra credit. These days in first grade you need all the help you can get ... i.e. they just finished a unit on economics ... including six weeks of supply and demand):

A few pictures from the "Singapore Flyer" which is the largest observation wheel in the world. Juliet looks much happier here than when we first got there. She was scared poopless to get on this thing. Just think if we had told her that it had just reopened two days before after being shutdown for 3 weeks after it broke down and stranded all the passengers for 6 hours as they perilously dangled in the Singapore skyline.

The next few are from our day on Sentosa Island which is a small island about 1 mile off the coast of Singapore. We took a cable car over there for a day of fun that included an acquariam visit, a luge ride, a dolphin show and some pushing, shoving, and curse words in several languages with a Taiwanese tour group that was determined to trample all three of us in order to not have to wait an extra 3 minutes for the next bus.

Quotable

2009-02-01T22:13:00.002+08:00

We had a great time in Bali and the people were fantastic. However, there were times, when several comments left us scratching our heads.

When we were checking into the resort, Annie spotted a lizard on the wall. She said, "Look Jules, a lizard." The guy behind the front desk turned, glanced at the wall, and retorted "No, I'm sorry madam but that's not a lizard, that's a gecko". Now, call us crazy, but doesn't a gecko fall in the lizard family? That's like saying a golden retriever isn't a dog.
Our driver, Katuk, (who we nicknamed the Ant Man) was certainly a master of the obvious. During the afternoon, a pretty bad rain storm swept across the island. As we were driving up to see the volcano, the rain showers started. After about 10 minutes of the drops hitting the windshield and Katuk using the wipers, he turned to us and said "It's raining, yeah?" It was like he needed confirmation that it was indeed rain that was pelting our Isuzu with precipitation.
Later on when we stopped to learn how coffee is made, we walked by a stable with a few old milk cows. Katuk, never wanting to leave a moment unexplained, "This is cow." We didn't have the heart to tell Katuk that if we were blind we could have told him those were cows. The smell and the mooing kind of gave it away.

Ants in his pants

2009-02-01T21:43:00.003+08:00

One of the more lively moments from our Bali vacation was the day we hired a car and driver to take us all over the island to see the sites. About mid-day as we were driving across the island, Juliet started digging into Scott's back pocket. Scott immediately flinched, "Juliet what are you doing? ... My wallet is back there ... I don't want it to fall out." Juliet innocently replied "But, dad, there's something back here." Scott leaned forward to find hundreds of ants crawling out from under the seat and into his underpants.

Apparently, they had polished off the driver's sandwich and were looking for more. We quickly started spraying Off (yes, we know it's for mosquitos but it was all we had ... for those who are curious, it has absolutely no lethal qualities when it comes to Balinese ants.) We eventually smashed the ants with our bare hands, but not after 15 minutes of commotion in the backseat. The driver was, however, completely oblivious to us jumping around as he never once turned back to find out what was going on. Needless to say, Scott was scratching in some unsightly places the rest of the day.

This was not, however, our first rodeo with "critters" while vacationing in Asia. The first day we were in Thailand last October, Annie swore she saw a lizard on the wall of our hotel room. She said it had darted behind a picture. Scott investigated, but told her there was no lizard and that she had just seen a shadow. Irate but without proof, Annie dropped the subject.

Three days later, though, while opening the room service menu, Annie's lizard lept out into Scott's lap. Shocked, Scott slapped the book on the bed and pinned the poor little fella against the sheets. Annie, instead of assisting with the capture of said slimy reptile, started dancing around the room reveling in her vindication. Here's a pic of the little guy:

Happy Chinese New Year

2009-02-01T20:46:00.007+08:00

We wanted to wish everyone a happy lunar new year. In case you missed it, last week (Jan 25 to be exact) marked the first day of the "Year of the Ox". We hope you ushered in the new year with some "lucky" foods like steamed dumplings, oranges, whole fish, long noodles, and even some algae (mmmm ... nothing says happy new year like a big bowl of algae.)

In order to celebrate the lunar new year (and because the fireworks here in Shanghai truly make you feel like you're in a war zone,) Juliet, Annie, and Scott headed out on a little vacation. We spent five days in Bali (a tropical island in Indonesia ... don't worry we had no idea where it was either until 18 months ago) and then three days in Singapore (the only place we know of that is not just a city, but also its own country.)

Here are a few pictures from the Bali portion of the trip:

The grounds and main pool of the resort where we stayed:

We had our own plunge pool in the backyard of our villa at the resort:

Annie and Juliet posing before dinner:

Scott and Juliet posing right after:

Annie being hounded by kids trying to sell her "high quality" bracelets and fans:

Waterfall (we had to buy some fans from the kids above in order to get this view):

The only active volcano on the island ... however Juliet says it doesn't work because it's old:

Storm clouds trying to cover up our view of the sunset:

Sunset on the western coast of the island:

Views from above the rice terraces:

No, Scott didn't pick a dress to match Juliet's shirt ... 90% of Bali is Hindu so we had to wear sarongs while visiting this temple:

Hangzhou Trip

2009-01-03T13:06:00.012+08:00

We decided to take Juliet and Lillie to Hangzhou for New Year's. Hangzhou is a city about 2 hours by car from Shanghai. It was dubbed by Marco Polo 7 centuries ago as the most splendid city in the world. We figured if it was good enough for the guy who invented that great swimming pool game we all played as kids then it was good enough for us.

Here's a photo collection of our few days:

The city sits amongst rolling hills and surrounds a huge lake:

Here are the three lovely Richardson gals trying to keep each other warm:

It was nice to see a sunset not shrouded in smog:

On the lake outside our hotel they had a water and light show ala the Belaggio in Las Vegas:

Here's a pic of the man-made bird's nest that housed the bird that crapped on Scott:

Who says you have to go to a college football game to see the Goodyear Blimp on New Year's Day ... a little glimpse of home that brought tears to our eyes:

Dude ... that's some really good tea!

2009-01-01T23:08:00.003+08:00

We happened upon a store this week while vacationing in Hangzhou, China (more on that trip tomorrow) ... we couldn't resist snapping a picture:

Kung Fu Master

2008-12-31T22:20:00.001+08:00

Over the past several years, Juliet has taken both ballet and tap dancing lessons. She never really took to it and, in fact, when she was 3 ½ she was quoted as saying “who signed me up for this?” Nonetheless, we wanted her to stay active and meet other kids. Thus, this September her mother once again signed her up for ballet lessons here in Shanghai.

However, after the first six week session was over, she pleaded with us to not “make her do it again.” We obliged, but told her that she was to find another activity. When we received a flyer in the mail advertising upcoming Kung Fu lessons at the compound, Scott jokingly asked Juliet if she wanted to become a Kung Fu Master. She immediately responded affirmatively. So beginning last month, our sweet, dainty, quiet Juliet began her training to become a badass.

Time Flies When You're Having Fun

2008-12-31T07:45:00.005+08:00

The year-end is often a time of reflection for many people, and this year is no exception for us. We are shocked by how fast our time here in China has gone and how much our lives and perceptions have changed. When we look back 18 months ago to where we are now as a family, we can’t believe how much we’ve changed:

The "Three Amigos" (Annie, Scott, and Juliet) have morphed into the "Fab Five" with the additions of Lillie and Shanna
Mr. Chen and Xue Feng are effectively members of the family … despite the fact that we primarily communicate via “charades”
We went from eating “American” Chinese food about once every 6 months in the U.S. to eating “real” Chinese food five times a week
Men peeing on the side of the road aren’t seen by anyone as “out of the ordinary”
Juliet is reading chapter books
We’ve learned that Thai food (which none of us had EVER eaten) is fantastic and helps scratch the spicy food itch we have from no tex-mex
Instead of having “can’t miss” shows every week, we just wait until the day after the season finale, buy the full season for $4 and have a “Grey’s Anatomy” marathon over the course of 28 hours
As much as the quote “you can take the family out of America, but you can’t take America out of the family” applies to us, we have developed an immense appreciation and respect for the people of this very mysterious and interesting country. Nonetheless, we’ll take a Chili’s Old Timer with Cheese over sautéed cow balls any day of the week.

Songtime with Lillie

2008-12-27T13:56:00.003+08:00

In our house, ever since Juliet was born, it seems as though someone has always been singing ... as Annie says "My life is one big musical!" This has not stopped with Lillie. She's thoroughly enjoyed learning new songs at school and making up new ones at home. However, no matter how hard she tries, they often are just a bit off. Here are a few of our favorite "Lillie versions" of some of the all-time classics:

1. "Baa Baa black sheep how are you? Yassir yassir 3 bags full. One for my master and one for the little girl that lives down the street." Who knew Yassir Arafat doubled as a shepherd?

2. "On the first day of Christmas true love gave to be, a partridge in a tree. On the Tuesday of Christmas, true love gave to me ... something else."

3. "We wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a Merry Chistmas, and a Happy New You!" Apparently she's sending a shoutout to those of us looking for a little plastic surgery in 2009.

4. "Old McDonald had a farm, and on that farm he had some whores." We wonder if Mrs. McDonald knows what's going on out in the barn?

The Sunny Shores of Thailand

2008-12-07T07:55:00.014+08:00

After being robbed in late September, our planned vacation to Thailand the first week of October was a welcome respite. We spent a really great week on the beaches of Phuket, Thailand (about 2 months ahead of the current military coup currently underway there). We enjoyed the food, the weather, the elephants, etc. Here's a snapshot of the fun.

This is "Jumbo" - the resident baby elephant at the JW Marriott. Jumbo roamed the premises with his handler giving rides, taking pictures, etc:

After over an hour, a few tears, and multiple women's hands cramping up, here's the final product of Juliet's hair getting braided:

Mom and daughter by the pool:

Juliet and Jumbo giving each other a high-five:

Juliet taking a break from swimming:

Scott and Anne posing for Juliet:

Here's a pic from the elephant trek we went on:

Juliet enjoying some Reduced Fat Cheez-its (she's trying to keep her girlish figure):

One of the more curious aspects to vacationing in an area with a lot of Europeans was the prevalence of the Speedo:

Crime Scene Investigation ... In our house

2008-12-07T07:40:00.002+08:00

In late September, one of the low points of our ex-pat assignment occurred when our house was robbed. While we were out for dinner on a Friday night enjoying our favorite authentic Italian food restaurant, a "perp" entered the house through a window he pried open and stole our laptop and cash.

We called the police and they sent a Crime Scene Investigation team out to do a detailed investigation. After a few hours of thorough investigating and lots of mumbling in Chinese, they determined our house was robbed by a man about 6 feet tall ... so basically the investigation did nothing except narrow down the suspect list to about 100 million people (about 1/3 the population of the United States). Nonetheless, two months later our case "has gone cold" and we're not expecting the return of our computer any time soon.

Early September Happenings

2008-12-06T07:00:00.006+08:00

September is typically one of our favorite months (highlighted by Scott's birthday of course), and 2008 was no exception. In early September, we began fostering another child from China. When Annie was asked by a friend why she agreed to take in another child, she responded, "One, I just can't say no. And two, you have never lived until you've seen the shocked look on your husband's face when he gets home from work and you greet him at the door with a screaming infant and say "Hey guess what? ... we got another baby today!"

Shanna came to us when she was 10 days old. She was born with spina bifida, but after spending a month in the hospital for surgery in late September, she's doing quite well and has a terrific prognosis. Juliet and Lillie adore her and Scott thoroughly enjoys the fact that whenever he yells out "Her name is Shanna," Lillie responds at the top of her lungs wherever she is in the house "It rhymes with banana."

Here are some pics:

Back to Blogging

2008-12-06T06:54:00.002+08:00

Greetings ... we apologize for the hiatus from blogging, but today, in honor of the day that OJ finally went to jail, we decided to jump back into the swing of it. We'll add a series of updates in chronological order over the next few days to catch you up on what has been going on the last few months.

A Bit of a Hairy Problem

2008-09-13T22:23:00.001+08:00

There was an article in today’s paper about a teenager who was having stomach issues, but many people speculated she was just pregnant as her belly was getting quite large. After extensive tests doctors found what they thought was an extreme amount of fiber-like material in her stomach. Apparently, the girl had been eating her own hair for the past 15 years. The giant hairball weighed in at 1.5kg (about 3.5 lbs) upon removal. Doctors don’t know why she was eating her own hair, but it sure does beat eating duck tongue or chicken stomach.

The Daily News

2008-09-07T22:03:00.001+08:00

We subscribe to the local English newspaper here in Shanghai. Despite being filtered, it provides the basic going ons around China and the world. However, after being here a year now we’ve noticed one very significant difference in the paper service here versus the U.S. (in addition to the ads for “Happy Ending Massages”) … collections.

Just like in the U.S. you prepay for a given subscription length - 3, 6, 9, or 12 months. However, not like in the U.S., when your subscription runs out … no more paper. No pre-warning, no friendly note from the delivery man, no pre-emptive phone call … no more paper. This is bad in that it takes at least a week and 3 phone calls to the “sales office,” which apparently only has sales people that speak Chinese (funny, for an English newspaper), before the paper gets delivered again.

However, this can be a good thing because you can actually stop the paper service whenever your subscription runs out. This is certainly better than the U.S. where you can decide you don’t what the paper anymore yet it still gets delivered for the next three years … at which point you receive a bill for $7,000.

A Taxi Ride with Added Benefits

2008-09-03T20:15:00.000+08:00

We have posted before that taxis are cheap – here in Shanghai you can go across town for less than $10. However, this week Scott was in Hefei which is located in Anhui Province. He took a 45 minute cab ride from the airport to his hotel. This journey set him back a whopping $3.

$3 for a cab ride – what a steal!!! It’s even better when you consider that the cab had no air conditioning so he got a free blow dry whizzing down the highway with the windows down. If this wasn’t enough, the driver was apparently offering his “Tuesday Special” as he threw in a complimentary case of whiplash on the 25 kilometer journey.

What goes up ...

2008-09-01T20:16:00.001+08:00

One of the peculiar things about Shanghai is that often the direction of escalators is switched. We don’t know the particular reason but after several weeks of running in a certain direction, the “up” escalator is changed to where it runs “down” and vice versa.

As you can imagine, this can cause some confusion if one is not paying attention when walking on an escalator that he or she uses fairly regularly. In the building next door to Scott’s office, there is a Starbucks located on the second floor. He will occasionally walk to get a cup of coffee in the mornings. Last week, while on the phone, he headed to the escalator on the “right” because that is where the “up” escalator had been the last time he had been there. Little did he know the “switcheroo” had been conducted since his last visit.

Now, as you can imagine in the lobby of an office building next door to the Shanghai Stock Exchange in a city with 25 million people, there is quite a bit of action at 9am. As Scott took two clumsy missteps up the “down” escalator at least 25 people (especially those riding down) wondered shockingly with their co-workers “What’s wrong with this moron? Don’t they know in America that it’s a helluva lot easier to use the stairs that are moving upward? And wow look at that – you ever seen somebody’s face turn redder than the Chinese flag?”

Ahhh … the ups and downs of China!

This translation was right on

2008-08-26T05:41:00.003+08:00

Often we read English translations that are really not accurate or descriptive – particularly when it comes to Chinese foods. The ever-so-helpful “Chicken in Sauce” or “Beef with Grains” doesn’t really help in figuring out the dining options.

The other morning Scott was in a small city in China and went downstairs for breakfast. He quickly noticed that it was not a Chinese/Western Buffet Breakfast as is typical, but rather, a Chinese-only setup. He began opening the lids of the various dishes in order to survey his options. He came upon one dish that was titled “Closest to Flesh and Blood.”

This little treasure looked like skewered meat, but Scott couldn’t really understand the title. He started running through the options in his head, “What is close to flesh and blood, but not in fact … flesh … or … blood? Maybe it’s tendons, or ligaments, or cartilage, or bone? It could be knuckles or joints I guess?” Ultimately he decided that it had to just be meat with a funny name. WRONG … after taking a mouthful of the not-so-delicious sustenance he deduced the skewered items were some random, chewy combination of tendons, ligaments, cartilage, bone, knuckles, AND joints. He then made the bold conclusion there has never been a more accurate translation of a Chinese delicacy.

Salutations

2008-08-24T22:28:00.001+08:00

One of the more beneficial aspects of our international assignment has been the exposure to people from all over the world. The ex-patriot community is largely comprised of Europeans in addition to Americans so we are learning about many different cultures and customs.

One of the more curious discoveries we have come across has been how different people close an e-mail before typing their name. In the U.S., typically we Americans stick to “Thanks”, “Thank You”, “Regards”, or maybe even “Kind Regards.”

However, we’ve noticed the Europeans tend to mix it up a bit. It’s not uncommon to get a “Cheers” or maybe even a “Mit freundlichen Grüßen,” but our personal favorite has to be “I Remain.” We really can’t figure it out though. “Thanks” … we get. “Regards” … it makes sense. “I Remain?” Maybe the writer is just trying to get the point across that he or she is still alive, or is just trying to say “In case you thought I was considering changing my name, I didn’t.”

In any event it’s been another of the interesting curiosities as we become more “worldly.”

We Remain,
The Richardsons

This stuff is riveting

2008-08-20T21:15:00.002+08:00

The other day while traveling on business, Scott heard a very curious recorded announcement while at the Shanghai Airport.

“Attention passengers, please pay attention to the time printed on your boarding pass. Even while watching the Olympics on the airport television you must arrive at the gate on time in order to board your plane.”

As fabulous as coed, one-armed, blind-folded badminton is, we really can't see missing our flight for it, but to each his own we suppose.

Nothing Like a 3 Year Old Translator

2008-08-19T13:58:00.002+08:00

As we have stated before, the speed at which Lillie has grasped English has been incredible. However, she refused to speak Chinese with us at home. We knew she still was speaking Chinese with our driver and housekeeper, but we were unclear as to how much she was retaining. With Annie in the states, Scott has figured out her retention is just fine.

Our housekeeper has been watching Lillie while Scott is at work. It has worked out well so far despite Xue Feng’s lack of English capability. For the most part Scott can fake enough Chinese to figure out what’s going on and communicate with her. However there are times at which he has no clue. Last week, one morning when he was leaving she told him something that left him clueless. Sensing the blank stare on Scott’s face, Lillie stepped in. “She says I need a bath and that she will do it before you get home tonight.”

Now if she could just bargain for purses in the market ... we'd be all set.

The next Willard Scott?

2008-08-13T16:40:00.002+08:00

Annie and Juliet are currently back home in Texas for a few weeks enjoying Tex-Mex food and the ability to drink tap water before another school year begins. Thus, Scott and Lillie are holding down the fort alone together in Shanghai. As you can imagine, he is having some very interesting conversations during his "one on one" time with her. One such moment occurred yesterday and today.

Last night about 7pm they were walking over to a friend's house for dinner when the following conversation occurred:

Scott: "It sure looks like rain with the sky really dark and all that thunder."
Lillie: "It's not going to rain today, but it is going to rain tomorrow."
Scott: "It might rain tomorrow, but I really think it will rain while we're eating tonight also."
Lillie: "No!!! - it is going to rain tomorrow ... not today!!!"

About 10pm they were walking home on dry ground:

Scott: "Well it hasn't rained yet but I think it still might rain tonight."
Lillie (vehemently): "It is not going to rain today ... it is going to rain tomorrow!!!"

Fast forward to this afternoon at 4pm. When Scott exited a meeting, he looked out his office window to see it raining so hard he couldn't see more than about 100 yards outside. We're not so sure her sudden acquisition of ESP is ready for Vegas or a career in palm reading, but at least we'll know when to take an umbrella with us.

Where's the Camera?

2008-08-02T20:45:00.003+08:00

Tonight we had dinner at California Pizza Kitchen. This is a normal stop on our rotation and we typically hit CPK every couple of weeks. We were having an early dinner (a little before 5pm) so the restaurant was quite empty with only about 4-5 tables filled. We were about halfway through our meal when a few guys wearing "USA Basketball" shirts walked in. They were kind of looking around deciding where to sit and walked over to us. One of them said "I am so sorry but your nice quiet dinner is about to be interrupted."

At that moment, LeBron James led the majority of the USA men's basketball team into CPK. Kobe Bryant, Dwayne Wade, Chris Paul, Carlos Boozer, Chris Bosh, Dwight Howard, Darren Williams and Dominique Wilkins all followed him in to enjoy a nice "American" meal.

We couldn't figure out why they didn't stop down for some local fare as we assume pig's feet, duck tongue, etc would be good protein boosters prior to the Olympiad, but their loss was our gain as we got to dine right next to this year's "Dream Team" and their traveling party (coaches, trainers, etc).

Little did we know that about one year ago to the day that we were swiping sugar packets to take home to put on our Cheerios, that in that very spot Kobe Bryant would thank us for wishing them good luck and we'd get to hear LeBron James look at our kids and say "how are you all doing tonight?"

Summer Camp

2008-07-25T16:17:00.003+08:00

One of the best parts of being a kid in the summertime is the ability to attend "summer camp." Summer camps come in all shapes and size - sports camp, scout camp, arts and crafts camp, etc, etc. So you may ask, where does a six year old, soon-to-be first grader go to camp when he/she lives in Shanghai, China? Yep, that's right ... Chinese Camp.

Juliet just finished three weeks of daily Chinese Camp. For 6.5 hours everyday she attended a camp with native English and native Chinese speaking kids ranging in age from 6-10. For the first three hours of the day they learned Mandarin (with the teacher only speaking in Chinese). In the afternoon they did Chinese arts and crafts and learned about Chinese culture.

Some may call us cruel parents for taking the f out of fun for her summer, but she loved it. Despite the fact she may not be able to kick a soccer ball, spout the girl scout's pledge, or roast marshmellows by the fire when she moves back to America ... we suspect she'll be the only kid on the block that can write the numbers one through ten in Chinese characters.

Return to Blogging

2008-07-24T21:13:00.002+08:00

Sorry for the delay in our lack of posting ... there is really no excuse for it ... unless you count the fact we have another child from an orphanage staying with us for the summer. "Bing" or as Lillie calls her "The Bing" is a three month old little girl who was born with spina bifeda. She has come along way and is recovering well.

We have been looking for the right way to break back into blogging and the compound's newsletter came today and we thought this was very appropriate. The following was in a section titled "Area Moral Initiative" (no these are not typos):

"A litter less bickering, a litter more neighbors hello;
A litter less selfish, a litter more mutuel assistance;
A litter less height throuing, a litter more care;
A litter less dispose of pet's poo everythere, a litter more civilization walk;
A litter less illegal structures, a litter more quiet decoration;
A litter less parking barbaric, a litter more humility driving;
A litter less vulgar life, a litter more flowers mood;
A litter less social, a litter more harmonious joy."

A Warm Welcome

2008-06-20T21:27:00.003+08:00

Scott was on a business trip the last few days, and had a very long day today. It started off with meetings in the morning, followed by lunch of something "interesting" in a chemical plant canteen. Then an hour drive to the airport to catch his flight home. After boarding on time, the announcement came over the intercom that the flight was delayed due to "air traffic control" ... which typically means something is seriously wrong with the plane that you're about to embark to 35,000 feet on.

However, after a 45 minute delay with the benefit of no air conditioning and more flies buzzing around on an airplane than Scott cares to remember (who knew flies have no problems mating right in front of humans ... you'd think they want some privacy), the flight departed for Shanghai.

After landing and retrieving his bag, Scott phone Mr. Chen who informed him he was stuck in traffic 45 minutes away. So off to the cab line, which was 150 people deep and took 35 minutes to wait in ... outside in 100% humidity.

When Scott arrived home, the first thing he did was embrace his kids and told them how much he missed and loved them, and how good it was to be home. After setting Juliet back on the ground and expecting her to respond to his terms of endearment, she turned to Annie and remarked, "Daddy smells like China!"

Welcome Home, Dad!

Big Milestone

2008-06-17T21:28:00.003+08:00

Juliet lost her first tooth over the weekend - a huge milestone in her six years of existence. After loosening the tooth for the past 4 weeks it finally fell out with no blood or pain whatsoever - much to her excitement.

The most exciting part of this little development is that the tooth fairy was able to find us here in Shanghai - rewarding our little darling with 100 RMB ($14) - proving that the tooth fairy did REALLY well during the internet boom as it's a far cry from the $0.50 per tooth we got back in the 80s.

Bite Free Plus Fresh Breath

2008-06-07T21:16:00.002+08:00

We have had a bit of a mosquito problem lately - the blood suckers are back ... with a vengence. After having received 5 bites on her face overnight, Annie decided today to take action. She had been told that if you spray Listerine around your doors and windows the mosquitoes will stay away (apparently they are opposed to clean breath).

So tonight Annie sprayed all the doors and air in the office of our house with Listerine. Now Listerine has a very distinct taste and odor and Scott and Annie both were a bit overwhelmed by the intense "fragrance" that was penetrating our nostrils. At that moment Lillie walked into the room and in a very deep voice remarked "mama, this smells GOOOOD!"

Scott quickly remarked, "Honey, flowers smell good ... fresh-baked cookies smell good ... mommy smells good ... our office smells like a donkey vomitted up a barrel of vinegar."

A Few Roses for a Special Occasion

2008-06-05T23:52:00.004+08:00

Today Anne and Scott turn 9. That's right we have been hitched now for nine years.

In honor of our anniversary, Scott wanted to order Annie some flowers. He asked an administrative assistant if she could call and order some flowers (since he knew the english proficiency of the florist was probably not college level). He gave her the following instructions.

I would like red roses delivered
I have been married 9 years
It doesn't matter what the flowers cost
I want the card to say Happy Anniversary in Chinese

So his colleague took the instructions and ordered 99 red roses. There were so many roses that Annie had to put them in a trash can with water because she didn't have a vase big enough.

Here is a pic of the massive order of flowers:

A Different Kind of Forgotten Toiletry

2008-06-03T09:00:00.000+08:00

As we have communicated, Scott travels a lot in China. Many of the places he goes require a 3+ hour car trip after flying to the nearest airport. He gets to see things that are a far cry from the bustling metropolis of Shanghai. Who knew mules were still a form of transportation?

One of the most curious learnings from his journeys relates to the toiletries in the hotel bathrooms. For starters, every hotel room (from 1 star to 5 star places) has complimentary toothbrushes, razors, vanity kits, shower caps, etc. It’s not like walking down to the reception desk at the Days Inn in Kalamazoo to score a razor, only to find a surly 19 year old who charges you $37.50 for a razor with a cutting capability inferior to that of a piece of paper.

However, in addition to the complimentary toiletries, there are additional items available for sale – the proverbial “mini-bar for the bathroom” as we’ve written before. A few weeks ago, while staying in a 4 star hotel, Scott noticed a colorful box on the counter. He didn’t pay any attention to it until he was cleaning up to check out. What looked like a small box of office supplies turned out to in fact be a box of condoms – which could be yours for the low price of 20 RMB (about $3).

This discovery, however, paled in comparison to the find from last month. Scott found a package of his and hers underwear for sale in his room. The sensual underpants were part of the “Romantic Journey” collection. Now, how you’re supposed to have a “romantic journey” in a room that reeks of cigarette smoke and has two twin beds is a bit of a head-scratcher, but probably well worth the 40 RMB to take your mind off the shower mold.

Guests

2008-06-01T22:46:00.008+08:00

Scott and the kids (Annie doesn't arrive back home until Monday) rolled out the red carpet this weekend for our friends, Paul and Melisa. They arrived on Thursday and have been experiencing Shanghai for several days.

Paul and his willing bride have been on a quest to try a plethora of exotic foods. Though Paul was devastated to find one restaurant was out of Poached Stewed Yak, we still have been able to give them a "taste of the east."

Here are some pics from Scott, Paul, and Melisa's trip to eat Hot Pot:

Paul's Spicy Hunan pot of assorted mushrooms and fatty mutton. You can see the raw cuisine in the background waiting to be stewed:

Here is the plate of fresh shrimp. When we say "fresh" we mean it. A couple of these poor fellas didn't immediately perish upon being skewed and were still trying to squirm free when they arrived at the table:

Scott trying to "de-head" the shrimp with his chopsticks while the steaming broth wafts through the air:

An excited Paul about to throw down some pig intestine:

Jackson Fever

2008-05-25T21:57:00.003+08:00

One of the very popular U.S. singers here in China is Michael Jackson. Everywhere you go you hear the Moonwalker's greatest hits playing incessantly. The grocery store, the mall, and most restaurants have MJ's 20 greatest songs on CD. There's nothing like a little "Thriller" or "Bad" to take you straight back to 1984, but this week Scott noticed a downside to this little fact.

As he was riding in the car over the weekend, he noticed Juliet was singing under her breath, "Billie Jean is not my lover, she's just the girl that says that I am one ... but the kid is not my son." And who thinks the music of "today" is corrupting our children?

Going Ons

2008-05-25T12:33:00.003+08:00

Our sincere apologies for our lack of updates recently. Here are some of the highlights from the last 3 weeks...

1. Annie's parents came to visit us in late April/early May. They hit Beijing and Xian in addition to their time with us in Shanghai and deemed the trip a success, despite not making a return visit to the Shanghai Hooters (Christmas Day 2007 will certainly go down in family lore).

2. The earthquake that rocked western China almost two weeks ago did not impact us directly. In Shanghai it could only be felt in high-rise buildings. Scott was traveling so did not have to evacuate with the rest of his co-workers.

3. Annie returned to Dallas a week ago for surgery. She is recovering now and will return home to China in another week. She has been up and around the last few days and is feeling better despite being very sore. Having the primary care giver for the children 6,000 miles away has made life in Shanghai a bit more chaotic than normal, but Scott and the ladies apparently are surviving.

4. One of the other key highlights of note happened today when our replacement 5 gallon bottle of water was delivered to the house by one of the compound security guards. Scott never thought in his wildest dreams he'd come across a 5'4", 95 pound man named "Hunk," but in Shanghai ... anything is possible.

Shanghai or the Addams Family?

2008-04-30T22:17:00.002+08:00

The street where Scott turns into his office has several small shops that sell various things - there's a convenience store, a noodle hut, etc. He passes this strip every single day, but today is the first day he noticed that one of stores has its name in English in very small print below the Chinese characters. As good as it must be, Scott does not see himself walking over for a lunch of "Delicious Gruel" anytime soon.

Fashionable…or not so much?

2008-04-29T08:29:00.000+08:00

One of the real curious fashion differences between Shanghai and Dallas is the way men here carry their cash, credit cards, and personal belongings. Instead of opting for the very popular “wallet” they instead opt for a very large over-the- shoulder attaché.

It’s not just ultra-hip, metrosexual, 20-something men who look like they just stepped out of the J Crew catalog – it’s everyone. When you get on an airplane, every aisle has at least two of these bags hanging from the seat in from of them. Mr. Chen (our driver) even has one. We never imagined we’d say this, but the “man purse” is alive and well here in China!

Pronoun Problems

2008-04-25T03:39:00.001+08:00

In Mandarin there is really no pronoun for “he” and “she.” “Ta” refers to both he and she and does not distinguish between male and female. At first, it was difficult to understand a native Mandarin speaker speaking English because they use “he” for everyone. After a while however, we just got used to the fact that “he” can be male or female in China.

The issue is that Lillie, while having learned English very quickly, still doesn’t have her pronouns down worth a darn. In fact, to her, everyone isn’t “he,” but instead, “she” or “her” – including Scott. Usually, he has no problem with this, but last weekend he did take offense when she said to Annie as he emerged from the bathroom, “Mommy, she go potty like a big girl!”

Precarious Perch

2008-04-22T20:33:00.000+08:00

As we were driving down the road the other day, we glanced up and saw a man fixing a window air conditioner on about the 25th floor of an apartment building. The window unit was very similar to the window units in the U.S. and appeared to be held in place by the window sitting on top of it (just like the U.S.). However, unlike the U.S. where OSHA would require one to use a ladder or some sort of elaborate harness system to prevent serious maiming, this man was just sitting on the air conditioner bending down at the waste to fix the side. The only thing preventing this man from plunging to certain death was a five pound window and the lip of a window air conditioner … and we thought Fear Factor was dangerous?!?!

Faux-pas

2008-04-19T18:51:00.000+08:00

Last week, Scott was pulled aside by a Chinese colleague after a meeting with a customer. He was told that he was doing a great job learning the Chinese culture and etiquette, but there was a slight problem. It seems that Scott wasn’t making a loud enough noise when eating soup and noodles – basically he wasn’t “slurping” loud enough. His colleague remarked, “The customer will think you didn’t like the food!”

Taking this to heart and deciding to fully embrace the culture, at lunch the next day Scott let out a small belch in the middle of the meal. Three people looked up from their food immediately and then nodded happily at his show of appreciation!

For Sale ... In the Bathroom?

2008-04-17T08:32:00.000+08:00

While traveling this week, Scott came across a basket in the bathroom at the hotel with items for sale. The card, which was English on one side and Chinese on the other, had the following items for purchase:

Paid Consumable:
Male-like Sock
Female-like Sock
Male-like Underpants
Female-like Underpants
Bath Salt

The Bath Salt is understandable – now why you have to pay $3 for it is another story, but nonetheless it made sense to include in the “mini-bar for the bathroom.” However, we wonder how many people actually would be interested in the Socks and Underpants, and what exactly is the definition of “male-like” and “female-like?”

Things that Make You Go Hmmm?!?! – Travel Edition

2008-04-16T19:42:00.000+08:00

Scott travels quite a bit here in China. Recently he has observed some fairly curious things.

He was traveling down a major highway in a central China province that is notorious for crime and corruption. At one point, he looked up and saw what appeared to be a police officer standing on a platform off in the distance. As the car approached the figure, he noticed that it was just a mannequin dressed in a police uniform. There was no sign accompanying this “officer” - just a scowling Caucasian lawman. Who knew “Scarecrows” still served a purpose? Hmmm?!?!

While waiting in a slow line 40 deep to get through security at the airport, Scott noticed that several travelers were taking advantage of a special line to his right. The line was titled “For Staff, VIP, First Class, the Old, the Slow, and the Pregnant.” Hmmm?!?!

On his train trip last week, Scott noticed the presence of a paper sack for one to expel vomit if so desired. He didn’t think anything of it as it is probably fairly common for people to get sick while on the train. However, after closer inspection, he noted the bag was titled “Airsickness Bag.” Hmmm?!?!.

If all of the TV channels in the hotel room are in Chinese then why do you need the list of stations in English? Hmmm?!?!.

Fun on the Train

2008-04-11T19:43:00.000+08:00

Scott had to take the train the last few days on a business trip. The trip to Nanjing (about two hours via the high speed train) is usually quite “educational,” but this excursion was particularly intriguing because there were no First Class tickets available so he had to travel in Second Class for the first time.

At first he was fairly impressed – the seats were pretty nice (similar to Coach on an airplane). Little did he know the decibel level “in the back of the bus” would be so brain rattling. He equated it to that of a fraternity party – all that was lacking were a few kegs (though cans of beer are sold by the drink cart man and in the vending machine in the waiting hall).

He witnessed some quirky folks, but none more so than his seatmate on his way to Nanjing. The highlight of the trip was her talking on three different cell phones at one time. He’s pretty sure she wasn’t talking to three different people, but rather just having a conference call with herself to pass the time. The alter ego on the Blackberry must have been the supervisor because she was letting the Nokia owner have a piece of her mind while the Motorola user was taking notes. The conference call ended abruptly however when the Nokia owner’s phone went caput. In order to try to fix the problem, she took the battery out and began to slam the phone down on the tray table as hard as she could. Scott considered offering to stand up and jump on it for her, but was concerned she might actually take him up on his offer.

Procuring Pizza

2008-04-07T20:30:00.000+08:00

Tonight Scott stopped on his way home to pick up Papa John’s for dinner (because Mei Mei Xi Huan Pisa). The Papa John’s is located in a shopping square right next to a busy subway stop that is always hopping with people. As he made his way to pickup the pizza, he noticed an extremely long line near the Papa John’s. He assumed that maybe a famous person was their signing autographs because it was the type of crowd that only Jackie Chan or Yao Ming might draw. As he neared the mass of people he noticed that these people were not in fact waiting for an autograph, but rather waiting to withdraw money from the ATM – 26 people in all were waiting anxiously to get to their cold hard cash. He shook his head in disbelief and made his way inside to pick up his pizza.

After disembarking from Papa John’s he passed a group of men working on a building expansion. These men were doing some heavy welding on the new structure. At first he thought it was particularly unsafe that these fellas didn’t have any kind of protective barrier between the sparks and their faces. However, at that very moment he noticed there was also no barricade to prevent sparks from flying off on unsuspecting Americans walking by with an armload of pizza. He adeptly leaped two feet in the air like a fool to avoid the fiery discharge. As he collected his breath and proceeded to the car he glanced to his left and noticed that his escapade had just made 26 people’s 45 minute wait for $10 well worth it.

Observations of Lillie Maud

2008-04-07T08:22:00.001+08:00

Lillie Maud (aka Bu Chou) has now lived with us for over five months. Through these very interesting months, it has been incredible to see her change so rapidly. For one, her grasp of the English language is amazing. This was particularly evident when yesterday after Scott “tooted.” She asked “Daddy did you poo-poo or just pass gas?”

She has also taken to western food quite rapidly as well. She still likes Chinese food and eats it regularly, but has discovered the greatness the west brings to food also. Here are a few examples:

Whenever she sees the sign for Papa John’s, she says “Mei Mei Xi Huan Pisa,” which means “Little Sister likes pizza” (and no, to answer your question, we have no idea why she refers to herself in the third person).
We have to keep the Pringles, or “crackers” as she calls them, on the high shelf because on multiple occasions we have caught her with one arm fully immersed in the can.
No living being has enjoyed Reese’s Pieces this much since “E.T. The Extraterrestrial.”
Chicken doesn’t stand a chance when she’s at the table. Whether it’s nuggets, strips, balls, or on-the-bone, she puts a hurtin’ on fried poultry.
She is convinced Handi-Snacks are a dietary staple.
If there was a Rice-a-Roni eating contest she would be the World Champion. If there was ever a person that could sustain themselves on merely the “San Francisco Treat,” it would be her.

New Employee

2008-04-06T10:34:00.002+08:00

One of the big changes around the house over the last month is that we have a new housekeeper. Our old housekeeper, Mae, tendered her resignation in early March which prompted a search for a replacement. After talking (through a translator) with several candidates we settled on a Xue Feng - an early thirties woman with absolutely ZERO knowledge of the English language.

At first we were a bit concerned. While Mae was not perfect, (we were, in fact, pondering making a change before her departure) she had been with us for 8 months and knew the routine. She was also learning English very quickly which greatly helped communication. However, after one month of Xue Feng working for us, we have absolutely no more apprehension. This woman is so good that we're severely concerned that she is a retention risk. If she decides to market her skills elsewhere she could get snapped up by any of the following:

The Gap - She could join their staff as a traveling instructor of the class "Folding 101."
The Container Store - Organization is her middle name. Every cabinet in the house has gotten a once over - she has created at least 20 additional cubic meters of storage space in the house.
Billy Bob's Window Cleaning - She has been with us for four weeks and has cleaned the insides and outsides of all the windows ... twice.
The Army - The Sarge would be quite impressed by the tightness of her bed making - Juliet is convinced she uses glue.
Victoria's Secret - She organizes Annie's bras by color, hue (cream and bright white are separated, and type (underwire is separated from padded, strapless, etc, etc).
Dry Clean Supercenter - The woman starches and irons underpants - how cool is that?

Who Needs an Alarm Clock?

2008-04-04T21:04:00.004+08:00

Once you get outside the walls of our housing community, things are REALLY different. In fact there is a wooded area with a creek across the street from our compound. Often you'll see people fishing in the creek hoping to catch breakfast. This morning while standing by the side of the street waiting for the school bus, Scott and Juliet had the following conversation:

Juliet: "You know when mom and I were waiting out here a while ago we heard a cock-a-doodle-doo coming from over there?"
Scott: "Really, there are roosters over there huh?"
Juliet: "Yea, and lots of dogs and cats too."
Scott: "No there's not, I drive by here everyday and I've never seen any animals."
Juliet: "I promise you ... there are lots of them ... see, right there ... a dog."

Sure enough at that moment, a stray dog could be seen darting through trees off in a distance. So when he arrived home, he approached Annie about the critters across the way.

Anne: "Oh yea, there's all kinds of things over there. In fact there used to be at least 5 or 6 roosters because I heard them all the time, but I think someone ate them, thank goodness, because it's been much quieter in the mornings lately ... except of course for the dynamite that goes off once a week at 8am in the construction site nearby."

A Few Curious Questions

2008-04-04T08:26:00.002+08:00

Very rarely does Scott not have a answer to something - even if his answer is a load of B.S. However, while on our trip to Hong Kong, he was posed with two questions that he just didn't know how to answer.

1. After spending three nights at the Disney hotel, we moved to a hotel in downtown Hong Kong for one night in a room overlooking the city. Scott was admiring the gourgeous view when Juliet (a budding reader who was also taking in the sights) asked the following question. "Dad, what does "V.I.P. ... S A U N A," spell." Do we really think she believed his answer that it was a health club for rich people?

2. At the top of Victoria's Peak, Annie queried him after spotting the following sign which was a bit of a headscratcher. He assumed hawking meant spitting but since it was not near a locale that would be prime spitting territory, he was a bit dumbfounded.

Not Much Business

2008-04-02T22:20:00.002+08:00

The picture below was taken near the Big Buddha in Hong Kong. The monestary is right around the corner, and by the looks of this place, we're guessing the police don't get much action in this area.

The Big Buddha

2008-04-01T21:00:00.005+08:00

One afternoon, while in Hong Kong, we ventured off the Disney property to do some sightseeing. We took a cable car up a mountain in search of “The Largest Bronze Seated Buddha in the World.” When we got to the base of the steps we all looked up in silence to marvel at the impending steepness of our climb and the enormous “Big Buddha” before us. After about 20 seconds of us all staring in awe, Juliet (apparently an expert in Buddhist artifacts) remarked matter-of-factly “Mom … that’s a really nice Buddha!"

Cuisine

2008-03-31T19:52:00.000+08:00

Hong Kong is known around the world for its fabulous cuisine. Its unique blend of Chinese food and Western dishes gives the food a unique niche.

We were able to experience the greatness of the Hong Kong food on several occasions … in our own personal way.

1. Within three hours of landing at the Hong Kong airport, we had sniffed out the nearest Outback Steakhouse and were munching on a Bloomin’ Onion.
2. The third night, we found a local Italian joint called “Fat Angelos” – with a name like that, you know it was good.
3. When we caught a glimpse of “Mrs. Fields Cookies” out of the corner of our eyes one afternoon, they immediately welled up with tears.
4. We had never dined at the Bubba Gump Shrimp Company while living on U.S. soil, but gave it a big thumbs up after having dinner there atop Victoria’s Peak.
5. We all just about had heart attacks when we discovered there was a Krispy Kreme doughnut shop at the airport. Getting a dozen donuts through security and home to Shanghai is no small task, but mission accomplished.

Disney Names

2008-03-30T21:42:00.002+08:00

One of the more interesting things we noticed at Hong Kong Disneyland was the choice of “English names” for the workers at both the hotel and the park. We have blogged several times about English names, but the names chosen by the Disney staff seemed much more “American” than we’ve seen in our nine months in China.

Some of our favorites:

Vernon
Ricky
Fanny
Larry
Agnes
Dorothy
Kenny
Yolanda
Vincent
Arthur

Joe and its derivatives also seemed to be very common. We saw multiple instances of:

Joe
Jo
Joey
Joanne
Joseph
Josephine

One poor guy, though, must not have been able to make up his mind because he just went with "Man." We hoped to find "Woman" later in the day, but were unsuccessful.

Maybe it’s just part of the charm at “The Happiest Place on Earth”. It sure does bring a smile to your face when you see a native Hong Kong man in his mid-50s named “Ethan.”

Disneyland - Asia Style

2008-03-30T20:03:00.009+08:00

We apologize for our brief hiatus from blogging. We have just returned home from our first family trip to the "Happiest Place on Earth." Scott, Annie, and Juliet just concluded four fun-filled days in Hong Kong at the Disneyland Resort.

The park and hotel are a little over two years old and much smaller than the Disney parks in the U.S. However, it was perfect for Juliet and provided plenty of opportunity for hobnobbing with the Disney characters:

Success – Sort Of

2008-03-24T21:15:00.001+08:00

Mr. Chen succeeded in getting keys made for our front door … just not how we expected. On Saturday, he was supposed to come pick us up for errands at 2pm. At 1:15 the doorbell (which plays the Star Spangled Banner by the way) rang. Unfortunately, Scott was just exiting the shower and Annie had not yet donned a brazier for the day. Thus, Juliet answered the door.

A minute later, Juliet screamed, “Mom … Dad … Mr. Chen is outside with a Chinese guy” (which narrows it down to about 700 million possible people). Mr. Chen apparently had determined if you can’t bring the key to the keymaker then you should bring the keymaker to the house.

When Scott was finally able to throw on some clothes a few minutes later, he made his way outside. However, due to the rain, he wasn’t able to see exactly what was going on. All he could see was that the hood was up on our van and he could hear a fair amount of scraping and chiseling. We have no earthly idea what was transpiring, but ten minutes later Mr. Chen knocked on the door with the proudest “I did it” grin you can imagine.

Happy Easter

2008-03-23T18:52:00.008+08:00

In case any of you were wondering, the Easter Bunny does deliver to China as the girls made out with a nice bunch of loot. Juliet was quite shocked when she awoke to a house full of eggs hidden throughout. She was flabbergasted the Easter Bunny got the memo that we had relocated halfway across the world. She said it was "magic" - just like Santa Claus!

Below are some pics of our "magical" first Easter in China.

Give 'em what they want...

2008-03-22T11:14:00.011+08:00

So after numerous e-mails clamoring for pictures, we finally uploaded the last two months worth of pictures off the digital camera...enjoy!

In February, we celebrated Juliet's half-birthday at school...it's a little thing they do for all the summer birthdays. On your special day, you (or rather your mommy) get to cover a bulletin board with pictures and tell your life story to your classmates. We still can't believe we have an almost six year old in our midst!

At the beginning of March, the entire Kindergarten took a field trip to the Shanghai Science and Technology Museum. Can't tell Juliet goes to an international school, huh?

Lillie Maud has quickly learned the art of posing and she and Annie often have numerous photo shoots throughout the day. Here's just a few of our favorites...

She loves wearing sunglasses (even here in smoggy and gray Shanghai), but unfortunately, her nose is too flat to keep them up. Luckily, she quickly realized that if you turn them upside down, they stay on perfectly!

And last, but not least, modeling her bunny ears from GiGi...

Finding the KEY to success

2008-03-21T20:40:00.002+08:00

We needed a few new sets of house keys made for the front door this week. Since Ace Hardware (the home of the helpful hardware man) does not exist here in China, we had no idea where to begin. Therefore, on Wednesday, Scott tasked Mr. Chen to have a few house keys made.

When Mr. Chen came to pick up Annie later that day, he gave her the keys. Unfortunately they were about 1/8 inch too think to fit in any lock ever created by mankind.

So Thursday morning, Scott informed Mr. Chen the keys were “bu hao” (no good). By the time Mr. Chen picked Annie up in the afternoon he had a new set of keys. Unfortunately, these keys were “bu hao” as well which prompted him to get another set made on his way to pick Scott up from work. We guess at this point he determined there was a potential for operator error (because we’ve never used keys before in our lives) because when he and Scott arrived home, he leaped out of the van to try them himself. A few seconds later, Annie (from inside the house) heard a loud Chinese voice let out a big “bu hao” followed by what we can only guess was a couple of “f bombs” in Mandarin.

Friday morning arrived with Mr. Chen clinging to a refund from Carrefour as he decided to take a stab at another store. Tonight he was like a kid in a candy store as he tried the fourth set of keys - just sure this would be the set that would end his frustrating endeavor. A few seconds later the defeated man sighed a “bu hao” again as he went home for what we can only guess was a very, very stiff drink.

Signs Your Foster Child is Ready for Potty-training...

2008-03-19T16:44:00.000+08:00

After hearing a massive explosion from across the room, you ask said child if she needs a new diaper and her response is, "Huh...yeah."

When you lay the child down to change her dirty diaper, she says in her most reassuring voice, "It’s OK Daddy, it's just yi dian, dian." That translates to "just a little" for all you non-Chinese speakers.

After cleaning up the blowout and prior to taking it outside to the trash (because it was NOT in fact, just yi dian, dian), said child turns to you and ever so politely says, "Thank you Daddy."

Happy Year of the Rat

2008-03-18T08:13:00.003+08:00

One the big events we failed to inform you about in our blogging hiatus was our Chinese New Year experience here in Shanghai. We had a very nice holiday filled with fun, family, and most importantly … fireworks.

We naive Americans thought the 4th of July was the pinnacle of fireworks displays. Little did we know that a few nights of Chinese New Year would put the 4th of July to shame. On the “Chinese New Year’s Eve” the 360 degree horizon was so alight in a plethora of multicolored fireworks displays and “sonic booms” that we didn’t know whether to enjoy the beauty or take cover.

So were these displays “official” gatherings of cities, villages, etc? No, these were completely private showings shot off from driveways, apartment balconies and living room windows. Fireworks were all over the place and “everything” was available. I don’t think any of the 1.2 billion people in China missed the opportunity to light a six feet strand of “Black Cats.” It was pretty surprising the day we went out to the store and saw a fireworks stand that provided the opportunity to buy a $75 crate of fireworks the Super Bowl organizers would be envious of.

Here’s a picture of Scott holding the “sparklers” they sell here in China – looks safe for the kids doesn’t it? Scott wanted to roast marshmallows with these things, but Annie thought better of it due to safety concerns (that, and marshmallows cost about $15 of bag).

Sleepless Mornings

2008-03-16T12:15:00.001+08:00

Last summer we were told one of the reasons our grass didn’t get mowed was because they weren’t able to mow on the weekends because it “disturbed the residents.” Today and yesterday mornings (Saturday and Sunday) we were awoken by a man sledge hammering walls in the house behind us at 6am. Like a pounding headache the incessant racket drove Scott from his peaceful slumber to a state of sheer frustration. He thought through his options in his head:

1. “I could call the office. Oh wait they’re still at home sleeping just like all the other sane people around here.”
2. “I could go scream obscenities at the man. However, I am not the one wielding a sledge hammer.”
3. “I could pretend to be a building inspector and tell him he’s violating code. However I left my building inspector costume back home in Dallas.”

Defeated, Scott decided he had no other option but to make a pot of coffee and wait until later when he could call the office and petition to get sledge hammering lumped into the same noise category as lawn mowing.

Bu Chou Update

2008-03-15T22:03:00.003+08:00

Bu Chou seems to be doing pretty good. Her new shunt appears to be working well and we haven't had any hospital stays for over 6 weeks now (new record since she came to live with us in November).

She's learning English very quickly and as we type this is singing her version of "Jesus Loves Me" at the top of her lungs:

"Jesus lub me the bible. Yea Jesus lub me por the bible tells me son. Little ones me the bible, the is weak and he is strong."

Blogging

2008-03-15T12:12:00.002+08:00

Dear Friends and Family,

We sincerely apologize for the unexplainable absence from blogging. We really don’t have a good excuse for not writing other than we have been very busy at home and work, but given that we live by the motto “sleep is rest for the lazy” we probably can’t get away with the busy excuse.

We tried to come up with a good reason, and tossed around the following ideas:

1. “We have spent the past two months trying to keep the kids healthy through cold and flu season.” Since Scott and both girls all sound like they have emphysema we decided that wouldn’t fly.
2. “Scott ate some poisoned Duck Tongue while on a business trip, and lost feeling in his fingertips so has been unable to type.” If this had really happened, he could have dictated to Annie despite the inoperability of his digits, so we once again opted for something else.
3. “Annie was knocked into a coma by falling Styrofoam during her daily jog.” The falling Styrofoam is very believable but Annie jogging? Not so much.
4. “We had dinner at the new Applebee’s in town and all got the runs.” While this did happen, we didn’t think ya’ll would believe that four people could have diarrhea for that long.

So all we can really say is we’re sorry and we promise to keep you abreast of our “going-ons” on a more regular basis from now on.

Love,
The Richardsons

Questions from a Children’s Hospital in China

2008-02-04T22:04:00.000+08:00

After spending another two weeks in the children’s hospital with Bu Chou, we have compiled a list of perplexing questions we’ve raised to each other.

Are we the only people in the hospital that realize the little jingle that plays at the nurse’s station when someone presses the call button is “Oh Susanna?” It’s a good thing they don’t have the words playing along with it … we’d be bombarded by the nurses asking for clarity … “what’s an Alabama and why does some fella have a banjo stuck to his knee?”
Does the whole hospital know Scott has no clue how to read a rectal thermometer? When Bu Chou was in the hospital in December (she was in a different wing than she is now), the nurses always had to read it for him. On Sunday, the nurse from our current wing (who had seen him for the first time on Saturday) came in to check her temp. She took one look at Scott and left. Five minutes later she returned with an digital thermometer for the ear.
Why was “Hee Haw” ever popular?
When people walk down the hallways at Children’s Medical Center of Dallas (or any other children’s hospital in the world) do they see some mother’s panties hanging from a door frame to dry?
How much money could we make if we charged admission to our room? We are like animals at the zoo as everyone in the hospital comes for a viewing. It’s exactly like when Americans go to zoo and try to speak “Lion” – you hear every Tom, Dick, and Harry try to say the only “Lion” word they know …“Roar”. It’s just the same for us. People come, look at us curiously and then say the only English word they know … “Hello.”
Why can’t Americans pass gas as openly as Chinese? It is really a glorious thing to be able to let one rip without anyone flinching.

Bu Chou Update

2008-02-04T15:51:00.000+08:00

Bu Chou was released from the hospital this morning - two weeks after surgery. We will keep her as isolated as possible to try to prevent her from contracting any infections over the next few months. She is doing quite well and was THRILLED to go home today.

Frigid

2008-01-31T20:46:00.001+08:00

It is colder than lint in a snowman's belly button here in Shanghai.

We don't know why it's so freakin' cold here because the temperature says it's around 30 degrees fahrenheit, which is cold, but not Icelandic. People say it's the humidity. It might be - who knows, but this is the coldest 30 degrees we have ever felt.

It certainly has us yearning for July when it's 95 degrees with 100% humidity and we all have 100+ mosquito bites.

A Big Fat Liar

2008-01-30T18:27:00.000+08:00

Last spring, Annie (who possesses a disdain for winter, and in particular, snow) asked Scott what the weather was like in Shanghai. His response was as follows:

"Well I hear it's similar to Houston - really hot and humid in the summer. People say the winters are pretty cold but they NEVER have snow in Shanghai."

Below is the picture taken of our neighbors front yard this afternoon. Needless to say, even the "Good for Man" won't do him any good tonight.

Airports

2008-01-29T11:10:00.000+08:00

Airports are a bit different here in China. The differences are fairly striking and our experience at the Shanghai Airport has us yearning for Southwest’s “Cattle Call” and Chili’s Too.

First, the airport is gigantic – there is no doubt one could see it from space.

Second, the runway is forever and a day from the terminal. Imagine taxiing from Dallas to Houston or Kansas City to St. Louis.

Third, the dining choices are a bit limited. If you’re not interested in the government run noodle diner (where even the waiters smoke) then you’re pretty much S.O.L.

Fourth, the bathrooms are in the basement, with no elevator access, and the stairs are at an angle so steep the guy who climbed Mount Everest wouldn’t even attempt it. Thus, if you have some form of disability or are old, you have two choices … hold it or wet yourself.

Fifth, if you have never been burly enough to participate in American Gladiators or Professional Wrestling, then it’s best if you just wait until everyone else has retrieved their luggage before approaching the bag belt. Never before has Scott wanted to “go postal” until he was upended by a spry 95 year old Chinese woman trying to get to her box of luggage large enough to contain a dead body.

Moral Dilemma

2008-01-28T08:52:00.000+08:00

We have written about “English Names” before, but we’ve run into several women recently who have presented us with a moral dilemma. Their names are:

Chocolate
Twinkle
Dolly

All seem to be very nice women, so we can’t decide if we should go on about our business or give them the memo that they chose “Stripper Names” to identify themselves.

An Answer to an Old Question

2008-01-27T21:04:00.000+08:00

It’s amazing what sticks with you throughout life. Commercials and tag lines from years and years ago are etched in our brains. Will we ever forget “Where’s the Beef?” What about Max Hedroom? … or Spuds McKenzie? – all absolute greatness.

One old-school commercial that keeps popping up in our heads ever since our move to China is the Dial spot that asked “Aren’t you glad you use Dial … don’t you wish everyone did?”

After riding in elevators, seeing the buses, walking down the street, etc., we have an answer to that question:

“Hell Yes … Hell Yes!”

Bu Chou - Update

2008-01-27T20:56:00.000+08:00

Bu Chou’s surgery seemed to go well. The doctor inserted a new shunt to help relieve the pressure in her head. The surgery was last Monday and she will probably be in the hospital for another five days or so. She is in good spirits and appears to be feeling much better. She still has enough fire in her belly to curse at every single nurse who comes into the room. She despises IVs and lets them know it with vigor. Of course, whatever she's saying must be pretty funny because the nurses always laugh and they seem to love her.

Bu Chou - Surgery

2008-01-21T11:50:00.000+08:00

Bu Chou is going under the knife again Monday in Shanghai. The doctor will be inserting another shunt to help drain the fluid from her cyst. Bu Chou has been doing well since returning home from the hospital at the end of December, but without the shunt, the pressure in her head has steadily risen. Her headaches and vomitting had gotten a little more frequent recently and, thus, it was decided that she needed another shunt.

New Year’s Treat or Lost in Translation?

2008-01-05T01:48:00.000+08:00

In the building Scott works in, there is a Chinese restaurant that serves local Shanghai food. It’s a good restaurant as far as Chinese food goes and he eats lunch there with colleagues on a semi-regular basis.

This week he and several co-workers went down there for lunch to catch-up after the holidays. They had a great meal and when the waiter brought their change, he also brought a desk-top calendar for each of the patrons.

Scott didn’t pay much attention to the calendar until today when he was clearing off his desk before heading home for the weekend. He opened the calendar and thumbed through it – each month had a picture of a dish offered at the restaurant with the name in both Chinese and English. Scott turned the calendar to January and thought it an interesting choice to ring in the New Year – “Fried River Shrimps Balls.”

Now for those of you who don’t know, River Shrimp is a common dish in China, but Scott is not so sure he really wants to sample the balls of said shrimp.

A Good Visit

2008-01-01T20:39:00.000+08:00

While Hooters for Christmas dinner was quite exciting, it wasn't the only highlight of H.D. and Jill Reed's visit to Shanghai. Despite Bu Chou's hospital stay occupying a good portion of their visit, we were able to give them a good flavor of our day to day life in China and were also able to do a little sightseeing.

At the end of the visit (which concluded today on Jan 1), they had developed some significant learning's about our life in China:

Mr. Chen (our driver) and Mae (our housekeeper) rank right up there with Morgan Freeman in "Driving Miss Daisy" and Fraulein Maria.
No fireworks laws means that every Tom, Dick, and Hong can have a glorious show in his or her backyard or apartment roof. This makes New Year's Eve is REALLY cool - even without the presence of Dick Clark and Ryan Seacrest.
Traffic laws are merely suggestions (unless there is a police car within plain view).
15 people really can fit in a 4' by 4' elevator.
Brett Favre jerseys can be purchased a LONG way from Green Bay, WI from someone who is convinced that football is played by kicking a black and white round ball.
$10 boxes of cereal do not come with bars of gold as the prize inside. Despite the extraordinary price, they come with alien decoder rings just like in America.
One bicycle can hold not only a person, but also a water dispenser, a full size refrigerator, and a washing machine.

A Christmas to Remember

2008-01-01T20:09:00.000+08:00

About 20 years ago, Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers recorded a holiday album. One of the songs from that spectacular audio classic was the hit "A Christmas to Remember." This year, we surely had that kind of Christmas and just as Kenny and Dolly promised, it gave us that "springtime feelin' in the middle of December."

Annie's parents, H.D. and Jill Reed, were here in Shanghai to celebrate Christmas with us - Chinese style. With Bu Chou in the hospital until Dec. 27th, our plans just kind of evolved all week. With the help of our housekeeper (who could sit with her at the hospital during the afternoons) we were able to spend some quality time with the Reeds. On Christmas we we had a nice morning here at the house before heading out that afternoon for Christmas dinner.

We had several thoughts on what to do for a perfect Christmas meal. We thought about doing a turkey at home. We also thought about having a large Chinese meal at a restaurant. In the end, however, we decided the best place for a memorable holiday meal was the Shanghai Hooters. We didn't exactly know what to expect, but were definitely not disappointed.

Upon walking into the restaurant we were greeted by 15 Hooters girls shouting at the top of their lungs in unison "Merry Christmas and welcome to Hooters." We were also surprised to see a very large Christmas tree in the foyer (as an FYI, we now know what Charlie Brown's Christmas tree would have looked like if it had been 20 feet tall). About halfway through our meal, 7 waitresses crowded around our table and one of them made an announcement:

"Attention Hooters! We want to extend a special greeting to this lovely family that decided to have their Christmas meal with us here at Hooters. Please give them your applause." The 7 nice ladies then proceeded to serenade us with a version of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" that none of us will EVER forget.

After this one hour of fun, we all (especially H.D. and Scott) certainly had that "springtime feelin' in the middle of December!"

Bu Chou - The Latest

2008-01-01T19:23:00.000+08:00

Sorry for the delay in updates, but the last few weeks have been quite a whirlwind. After Bu Chou had her shunt removed, it took about 4 days for her fever to go away. It took about another 3-4 days for the vomiting to subside. They did a spinal tap a week after the surgery to determine the status of her infection and they determined it was basically gone.

She seemed to stabilize the weekend before Christmas and we thought she might be able to come home in time for Santa's arrival. However, the doctor decided on the 23rd that she needed to remain in the hospital a while longer. But, after seeing her on Christmas day, he decided she was stable enough to come home on the 27th. Here is the discharge picture with Scott, Bu Chou, and the nurses. The nurses insisted on snapping a photo because quote unquote "they (Scott and Bu Chou) both looked so cute that morning."

Thus, last Thursday Bu Chou returned home. She had a really great weekend and is now walking again and eating like a horse (after over 3 weeks in the hospital, the rice congee at every meal had gotten a bit old.)

Her current medical status is still a bit in-flux though. She now does not have a shunt to help drain the fluid out of the cyst in her head, and still has the hydrocephalus issues that originally brought her to Shanghai. Hopefully she will remain stable and there is a chance the fluid could drain on its own, but we're effectively in "wait and see" mode right now.

Thank you to everyone for your thoughts and prayers - we very much appreciate it!

Update 2

2007-12-15T03:18:00.000+08:00

Unfortunately Bu Chou's infection did not get better - in fact, the doctor felt like it was getting worse and thus removed her shunt on Wednesday. They are now trying to get rid of the infection and will decide after that what steps to take next. Thank you to everyone for your thoughts and prayers. We'll hopefully have some good news soon!

Update

2007-12-11T18:36:00.000+08:00

We found out last week that Bu Chou will be in the hospital for at least another two weeks. The infection she has is very serious and if it doesn't go away soon, they will have to remove the shunt. Her mood is good though and she has been walking around and playing a little more. She's no longer vomiting and is eating like a horse again. However, she still runs a fever on a daily basis.

Hopefully she will continue to improve and the infection will dissipate over the course of the next couple of weeks - we're hoping to get her back to our house for Christmas, but if Santa has to come to the hospital, then so be it!

Annie is holding down the fort at home and at the hospital as Scott had to travel to the U.S. on business - she is now demanding that Santa bring a REALLY nice gift to her this holiday season. Jill (Annie's mother) arrives on Thursday, so she too will soon get to experience the greatness of a Chinese children's hospital.

But at least now Bu Chou and Annie have a private room (of which, we think only a handful exist in the hospital.) We tend to think our roommates were getting a bit sick and tired of us always having to translate for us, as they were much better at charades than the nurses.

Back in the Hospital

2007-12-06T09:59:00.000+08:00

Well, we're back in the children's hospital. Not for Juliet this time, but rather Bu Chou. She has developed an infection in the shunt in her head and therefore, has been running a high fever periodically now for almost a week. They admitted her on Tuesday and started her on high doses of IV antibiotics. Hopefully, the fever will break soon and she can get back home, but until then, Annie is spending her days and nights sharing a room with three other sick children and their families - none of whom speak English.