Telemarketing

One nice thing about living in China is that we don’t have to worry about constantly being pestered by telemarketers. Not being able to speak the language when called on our local Chinese number usually results in “I only speak English” followed by a click. If the pesky caller keeps at it then a handoff to the maid results in the end of the call.

If someone calls us on our 817 number from the U.S. then they usually aren’t too thrilled about servicing customers in Asia, as Annie found out today when the Dallas Morning News called:

DMN: “Good evening ma’am – I hope you had a great day.”
Annie: “Thanks, but actually, my day’s just getting started.”
DMN (as Annie tries to stop her to no avail): “Oh – got the night shift huh? Well I am calling because you’ve been selected to receive a free two week trial of the Dallas Morning News…all I need to do is get your address from you.”
Annie: “Do you deliver to Shanghai?”
DMN: “Where exactly is that?”
Annie: “Well, it’s east of Tyler.”
DMN: “We do have a pretty wide delivery area.”
Annie: “It’s in China.”
DMN: “Thank you and have a great day.”

Things Scott has Blown Up

Electricity here is 220 volts versus 110 in the U.S. - meaning that a power converter is needed on some appliances. It also means that Scott – who would never be confused with Captain Electricity has had some challenges in adapting to the new power scheme. Some examples of his electrical prowess are as follows:

The Computer – This is probably his highest level of his ineptitude thus far. After having incorrectly read the voltage requirements on our desktop computer, he plugged it directly into the surge protector without using a converter. The power supply in the computer immediately emitted a “cherry bomb”-like sound and smoked violently. Needless to say, Thomas (our landlord’s son-in-law who also happens to have a background in computer engineering) is coming over this week to replace the decimated part.

The Phone – We have a phone we use to call the U.S. that gives us very good monthly rates. Unfortunately we have to buy the phone in the U.S. We had a power outage two weeks ago that caused the base on the phone to fry because Scott had not used a good enough surge protector (a word to the wise – when we move back to the U.S., do not invite this man over to help install a ceiling fan or any device that requires “voltage”).

The Toaster Oven/Coffee Pot Combo – This was actually a locally made appliance and it lasted for a total of 8 minutes. We do not have any idea what Scott did to make this thing spark and smoke, but have deduced that it might be similar to powers possessed by the mythical god Midas. Everything Midas touched turned to gold – everything Scott seems to plug-in pops loudly and begins to smoke. The only other possible explanation is that a higher being was sending a message not to cross-pollinate two appliances that have absolutely no business being put together.

Language

One of the more challenging aspects for us here in Shanghai is that many people do not speak English – especially people from older generations. English is now taught in many schools so the number of young people that understand it is growing. We actually have a better chance of being understood when ordering a hamburger than we do by a police officer. Thus, in case of emergency, we have Micky D’s on speed dial but not “911”.

Another complicating factor is that despite Mandarin being the national language of China, many different dialects are spoken. For example, in Shanghai, those who are from here speak Shanghainese. Our impression, when we arrived, was this was similar to Mandarin with just a few variations. We thought it was like how, in Texas, we say “ya’ll” but in New York, they would say “you’s guys”. Unfortunately, we quickly learned this was not the case. Scott talked to his Mandarin teacher (he thinks her name is Ruth but he’s not exactly sure) this week about Shanghainese:

SCOTT: “Shanghainese is pretty much the same as Mandarin, correct?”
RUTH: “Well no, not really.”
SCOTT: “But the characters and “words” are the same aren’t they – just different pronunciations and sayings?”
RUTH: (who is not good at sugar-coating): “No it’s really a totally different language...but many people might understand basic Mandarin.”
SCOTT: “So what you’re telling me is that I am in the process of learning a language that many people in this city don’t speak?”
RUTH (who is from Inner Mongolia): “That may be accurate.”

The other language issue we have hits a little closer to home. No matter how hard we try, we cannot convince Juliet that people here are speaking Mandarin (or something like it) and not Spanish. We walked through Carrefour a few weeks ago and Juliet spied a Dora the Explorer DVD. The only thing that distinguished it as Dora was her picture. Everything else was in Chinese characters. Juliet asked, “Hey dad, don’t you think we need Dora in Spanish?” Unfortunately this had come just a few days after a long discussion we had with her after she asked, “Does everyone here speak Spanish?” The problem is being from Texas we’re just naturally so ingrained with SASL (Spanish as a Second Language). In fact, both of us have caught ourselves trying to be polite to someone and instead of saying “Oh, you don’t speak English?” trying “No habla ingles?” instead. This usually results in the person turning to a nearby co-worker or friend and saying something very loudly in Mandarin at which point everyone within 10 feet bursts out laughing. We can only deduce they have just said “this American moron didn’t get the memo that the Spaniards stopped in Mexico and didn’t actually make it to the Far East.”

Good and Bad

So now that we’ve been here almost a month, we’ve learned we have to take the bad with the good and vice versa…

THE BAD: There are no Mexican restaurants here.
THE GOOD: They sell Rice a Roni “Mexican Rice” at the grocery store

THE GOOD: You can get DVDs very inexpensively
THE BAD: Your movie has Chinese subtitles and in order to find a good DVD you must rummage through at least 300 action, horror, or action + horror DVDs. If you loved Ghost Rider, then you’d be in hog heaven.

THE GOOD: Kitty Litter here rocks – it’s some combination of birdseed and scooping American cat litter, but it works great – no mess, no odor, no cat-poop-problem.
THE BAD: Cat food is a problem. George and Nolan refuse to eat dry cat food here. They love the canned food, but it’s got either pieces of fish head or whole shrimp in it, and it smells like cat poop from the USA.

THE BAD: There is no bubble gum in Shanghai…at all. It’s either Doublemint, or some flavor called Blueberry Mint. Even the “impulse section” of the grocery store is completely void of bubble gum.
THE GOOD: If you’re standing in line at Wal-Mart and the romantic mood hits you, the “impulse section” is LOADED with every size, shape, color, and brand of condom. It’s a far cry from the US where they keep them under lock and key…“Excuse me Target team members, I need a Customer Service Rep to go unlock the Prophylactic Cage for the heavy-set gentlemen in the green shirt.”

In Search of a Princess Bike

We apologize for, yet again, another story from a shopping excursion, but we must share our latest experience. Annie and Juliet picked Scott up from work tonight and we headed to Thumb Plaza – our favorite area for eating, shopping, etc. They have a good American diner, a great Italian place, and a Papa John's, not to mention a 20 foot tall, silver-plated, modern art sculpture of a man with two thumbs up. We went for dinner, but also to procure a new bicycle for Juliet, as we did not bring one from Texas.

After having some great Italian food, we headed to Carrefour (French Wal-Mart) for what we thought would be a five minute trip (we don’t really like going there because despite being able to purchase a 12 pack of chopsticks for about $0.08, you must deal with a strange odor that conjures images of a combination of b.o. and Tuna.) But alas, they did not have the Disney Princess bike we had been eyeing for three weeks. So we made our way back out to Mr. Chen (procuring along the way all seven seasons of The West Wing, the first season of Jericho and Ratatouille all for less than $6 bucks) and had him drive us to the other Carrefour about 10 minutes away. This Carrefour is actually worse than the first because they apparently won’t open the doors unless they can get at least 10,000 sweaty shoppers into the store at once. Unfortunately, we struck out here as well and had to have Mr. C take us back across town to Wal-Mart (passing Thumb Plaza on the way.)

Now this was our first family trip back to Wal-Mart since our second day in Shanghai – and it didn’t disappoint. We were able to find just the bicycle we were looking for – in fact it was an even better model than we had seen at Carrefour. This bike contained not only a basket on the front and a bell, but also a baby seat on the back for Juliet’s “childs”. We were all filled with glee – Juliet because she had an “amazing” bike, Annie because her child’s eyes were filled with happiness and Scott because there wasn’t another discount retailer within 60 minutes of the house.

There was just one small problem that we hadn’t really thought about. As we mentioned before, our car is the same used for taxi cabs here – a small Volkswagen that would fit in the “economy” category in the U.S. So after waiting in line for 20 minutes, Mr. Chen began trying to load the bike into the trunk. We were sitting in the backseat (he refuses to let us help him load anything) watching him struggle. We worried how we would get the bike home because it was obviously too big for the VW. Little did we know that Mr. Chen (The Chinese MacGyver) had a plan. We saw him unload a sack of items we had purchased into the trunk. He then rolled up the Wal-Mart sack and tied down the trunk hatch with the most inventive “Boy Scout knot” you’ve ever seen. Bewildered, Annie turned to Scott and matter-of-factly stated “our driver just jerry-rigged our trunk with not a rope, not a bungee cord…but a Wal-Mart sack.”

So there we were…a sophisticated American couple with our five year old darling…clunking down the road in our taxi cab with the famous yellow “rollback man” flapping in the breeze.

Day at the Theater

Before we go into our day at the theater, we need to go through a very important change in the blog. From this point forward, we will not refer to Anne as Anne anymore. Instead, we will always type her name as Annie because that is how EVERYONE in China pronounces her name. At first, it was very annoying because Juliet would break into song “Tomorrow, Tomorrow, I love ya tomorrow,” but everyone has now come to accept that we left Anne in Dallas and in China, we have Annie.

So Saturday we headed off to the Shanghai Grand Theater for Mamma Mia – little did we know when we purchased the tickets we had chosen to attend a matinee on the hottest afternoon of the year. When we arrived at 1:00pm the temperature was approaching 100 degrees with every single drop of humidity in Asia concentrated in Shanghai. Of course there were no signs around, so we wondered aimlessly with the masses until finally finding the entrance…now sweating profusely.

The show itself was great – very good story and the ABBA music is mixed in very well. It was in English with Chinese subtitles on large screens to the side of the stage. One thing we learned in those two hours was that ABBA is HUGE in China. People dancing in the aisles and clapping wildly at times – it was a lot of fun. Another lesson we learned is that it is A-OK to BYOF&D (Bring Your Own Food & Drink) to the theater. We were the only people in the place who didn’t bring a bottle of water, soft drink, or yogurt milk with them and don’t even get me started on the tuna and ice cream (thankfully not together) that appeared after the intermission.

When we left the theater, the temperature had cooled off a bit. It is actually hotter here in the late morning and early afternoon, than later in the day. The reason (we hypothesize) is that by late afternoon, the smog has built up so much that it actually works kind of like sunscreen – blocking out some of the sun’s most harmful (and hottest) rays. So it’s really the lesser of two evils – we can either bake in the morning or stay cool in the afternoon…but feel like you’re hacking up a lung.

After leaving the theater we headed for a return engagement at the California Pizza Kitchen (no condiment pilfering this time – however the manager did remember us, which scared us a tad.) We ate quickly in order to make it to Annie’s 6:00pm doctor appointment where we learned that smoking in hospitals is still very much allowed here. In fact it brought back memories of “Thirsty Thursday” nights in college as we smelled like we had spent the last few hours in a smoke-filled bar (or bowling alley).

Welcome to the Neighborhood

Yesterday Anne and Juliet were in the midst of deep, refreshing, Friday afternoon nap, when they were stirred awake by the phone. The shaky voice on the other end said the Director of the Complex wanted to come down and welcome us to the neighborhood. Anne quickly shot up and readied herself for his arrival. Three minutes later, he rang the doorbell (which coincidentally plays “The Yellow Rose of Texas”) and presented Anne with a bouquet of flowers. The encounter went something like this:

Anne: “Thank you – pink roses – my favorite!”
Manager: “Oh what a happy coincidence. Where do you come from …America?”
Anne (like a true southerner): “Yes, we’re the Richardsons and we come from Texas in the USA. My husband’s name is Scott and I’m Anne.”
Manager: “Ohhhh – so your people come from Scotland?”
Anne: “Oh No. My husband’s name is Scott and my name is Anne.”
Manager (confused): “So you both come from Texas?”
Anne (not realizing some information is just too much information): “No I come from Texas and Scott comes from Kansas – we met in college.”
Manager: “What a romantic, happy story.”

A few minutes after he left, Anne curiously noticed several men hauling off large chunks of timber and leaves. After thinking to herself “Huh, that’s a bit odd,” she shrugged it off and attributed it to the construction going on next door. Three hours later, after Scott had arrived home from work, we noticed our landlord’s wife and Thomas milling around in our front yard. We went outside to find out what was going on. What we discovered was the trellis over our covered parking area next to the garage had been knocked down in several places and there was a big hole in the ground next to the driveway. Thomas said to us, “What, you guys didn’t know that about four hours ago, lightning struck the tree that used to be here?” Anne turned to Scott, shrugged and said, “No Clue.”

Lost in Translation

This is the time of year when numerous outlets (newspaper, evening news, etc.) offer helpful tips to avoid the heat and enjoy the summer. Well, this morning, the management office of the community we live in brought us the monthly newsletter, which, among other things, included “Tips for Summer”:

1. Eating less and more meals
2. Taking bath in worm water
3. Drinking more water
4. Avoiding violent activities
5. Afternoon dozing
6. Drinking chrysanthemum tea
7. Rinsing wrists by cool water for 5 minutes

So keep that in mind this weekend as you try to “beat the heat” – stop fighting, ramp down your food intake before subsequently increasing it, and then take a nap before heading off to a bath with worms.

Learnings

Well, we have been here for three weeks now and have some significant learnings about life in China:

• No matter how hard we try to find a solution, we will wake up with severe back pain after another night on the concrete Serta they call a mattress.
• It’s better to go online and look up the conversion of Fahrenheit to Celsius for cooking the desired meal, rather than guessing – “Would you like some ranch with that chicken jerky?”
• Welders masks also double as great bug shields if you’re a moped owner.
• The term “Agent” really means “A middle man who gets a cut off the top.”
• The phrase “Lefty Loosy, Righty Tighty” means absolutely nothing here. However, the phrase “Trial and Error” is a big player.
• There is always room for one more on the elevator and “Maximum Occupancy” is merely a suggestion.

Rice

Several people have contacted us about cooking rice that is not Minute Rice. Thank you very much for your help and suggestions!!! Here’s the rub. Rice here is sold in bulk. When we say “in bulk” – picture the old school candy stores at the mall (one was called Mr. Bulky’s) where you filled your bag and paid by the pound. Great…in theory…if everyone used the handy scoop that is conveniently provided. Unfortunately, some choose to use their hands – which, have just come from digging through the area of the grocery store we call “The Meat Bin” section. These enormous bins are similar to the traditional meat section of US grocery stores – except the meat is not packaged. Instead, people just rummage through and fling shanks of beef, lamb, etc, this way or that until they have found the one “that is just right.” Chicken is not immune from “the bin” concept either and can be purchased whole, in parts, or by the foot (literally). Hence, we probably will continue to purchase our meat at the import grocery store, and pay $8 for a box of Minute Rice.

Value for the Dollar...or not

Some examples of how our dollar goes just a little further here in China:

• One month of Phone Service (which includes 2 home phone lines and high speed Internet service) = 50 yuan ($7 US)
• Propane tank refill = 35 yuan ($5 US)
• DVDs = 5-10 yuan ($0.60-$1.20 US)
• 1 pound of boneless skinless chicken breast (or “chicken chest” as it’s called here) = 7-8 yuan ($1 US)
• 20 ounce bottle of Coca-Cola Light (Chinese version of Diet Coke) = 3 yuan ($0.40 US)
• 40 load bag of Tide = 15 yuan ($2 US)
• 24 passport photos = 30 yuan ($4 US) (for comparison purposes Walgreens gouges you for $8.00 and you get 2 pics in the US)
  

Some examples of how we spend the money we save above:

• 1 small box of Minute Rice = 56 yuan ($8 US) (we have no earthly idea how to cook any other rice except for the 5 minute variety)
• 12 - 4 ounce cans of Diet Coke = 90 yuan ($12 US)
• 2 pound Roast = 200 yuan ($27 US)
• 35 ounce can of Folgers coffee = 138 yuan ($18 US)
• 1 Duncan Hines cake mix = 58 yuan ($8 US)
• Getting just a little taste of home = Priceless (even if it costs you $10 to get a box of Lucky Charms)

Just a Little Different

We are quickly learning we must do things just a little different here. Today we went online to order tickets to Mamma Mia (the musical is currently playing here in Shanghai.) After clicking on the “Order Here” icon, we were taken to a screen that said “Coming Soon – Call to Order.” So we called the number. The guy said there were two ways we could order. We could either go to a ticket office (which would probably be a nightmare for us to attempt to convey to Mr. Chen) or have the tickets hand delivered to our home or office tomorrow. We asked how much it would cost to deliver. He responded, “10 Yuan (about $1.25 US) and when the person gets there, just pay them in cash for the full amount.” We then asked if there was a “Will Call” window where we could just pay now over the phone and then pick up on the day of the show. After about 5 seconds of laughter from the other end, the guy told us our best option was the “delivery method.” So tomorrow, we're going to give some random person about $275 in cash for three tickets to a Broadway musical. We’ll let you know after Saturday’s performance if our tickets got us into the show, or if we listened from the parking lot.

One Fine Day

Sunday might have been our best day in China yet – we had four incredible hours that left us smiling from ear to ear.

We set out for Superbrand Mall to try to get 220 pictures taken off our memory card and put on a CD (for reasons even he can’t adequately define, Scott put the cables to charge the digital camera on the “slow boat to China” – thus we have no way of using the camera until our shipment arrives.) At first we weren’t too confident about our prospects as we arrived at the mall and literally, had to wade through at least 13 million Shanghainese on the way to the Kodak place. However, not only were we happily greeted upon arriving at the stand, but he spoke English. So we waited for about 20 minutes to have our pictures copied. While waiting, we heard an announcement in Mandarin. We do believe this announcement was saying something about how the Americans over in photo are starring in a Candid Camera episode so go over and stare at them, then make a funny face, and then slyly smile before walking away. After being ogled by thousands of people, we headed for the grocery store.

Little did we know that our trip for toothpaste would turn into a grocery trip for the ages. (By the way Gigi, no such luck on finding imported Crest.) However, not only did we find Reese’s Pieces, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, and Rolos, we also scored real Tostitos Tortilla Chips and real, straight from the plant in Atlanta probably via Latvia, Diet Coke (granted, it’s in 4oz cans, but Anne was thrilled nonetheless.) People were quite shocked to see us grab hands and dance wildly in a circle shouting “Hallelujah, Hallelujah”, but frankly, we didn’t care. Needless to say, we bought all 11 cans of Diet Coke they had and five bags of tortilla chips.

After the grocery trip we stopped by a local DVD vendor (that means a guy with box of DVDs strapped to his bike) where we found the first season of “Brothers and Sisters” (which Anne has been clamoring to find for 2 weeks) and “Finding Nemo,” all for the rock-bottom price of $6!

The best part of the day, though, was finding a new restaurant that serves sandwiches, pastas, American-like Chinese dishes, and most importantly, good salads. For 15 days, we’ve been trying to find a salad that won’t give us the runs – what a fine day!

TV

Television programming here is fairly interesting. We have satellite TV and get about 40 channels in English. These channels include the Asian version of popular American stations like ESPN (healthy dose of soccer and cricket), Nickelodeon, Disney, National Geographic, The Discovery Channel, etc. Unfortunately we do not get HGTV – so no House Hunters from Kuala Lumpur or Bangladesh – which just about sent us packing, but we’ve since forged on.

The other types of channels we get are best referred to as “Casserole Channels” – a little bit of everything rolled into one. These channels will show a program from one network (from previous seasons) and then follow it up with a program from another network. The other night, Numbers (CBS) was followed by Lost (ABC) and then ER (NBC). We also get the Today Show and NBC Nightly News – the next day. The one difference is when Al Roker sends it out to “take a look at the weather in your neck of the woods,” we don’t get a Mandarin speaking weather man talking about the squall coming in off the China Sea. Instead, you just get the camera left on the NBC set and you hear the Today Show cast chatting amongst themselves.

The only bad thing about these “Casserole Channels” is the lead-in music when they return from commercial is best defined as “sensual.” It’s either a catchy little ditty that has been pulled from an adult film or a sassy number from American music history. The other day, after we had watched the Today Show, we walked in on Juliet playing and she was singing to her baby dolls: “You can even marry Harry, and mess around with Ike.” Fabulous.

One for the baby book...

We know many of you have already seen this photo, but we think it's worth publishing again. It appeared in our church paper the week before we left for China in a section devoted to this year's vacation bible school. I know we're prejudice, but honestly, is she not absolutely precious?

Goings On

Thursday George and Nolan (our 2 cats) made it home from quarantine. So after a five hour walk at the airport, a conversation with every single worker at the airport who doesn’t speak English, 3 hours on the phone with United Airlines, and a week of waiting, the boys are home. On the plus side, it appears that the pudgy fellas lost a pound or two over the last couple of weeks.

We have finally hired a maid – she starts on Monday and will start off doing cleaning and the laundry. We’ll possibly add cooking to her tasks, but given her limited English vocabulary, we'll just have to play that by ear. Scott’s goal for the year-end is to teach her how to make tacos, fajitas, burritos, enchiladas, and Rotel cheese dip.

Knock on wood, we think all the “house hiccups” are fixed. However, though we were authorized two days ago to use the master shower, we have resisted thus far only because the patched ceiling in the kitchen looks so much better than the two foot hole.

Today we applied for our residency permit, so we should get that back next week and then our shipments can clear customs – which means we’ll finally have clean underpants and 40 cans of Rotel.

One negative this week...the empty house next door is now apparently home to some loud obnoxious, nocturnal critter of some sort. The “thing” makes noises all night long at decibel levels nearing that of the roar of a college football game. The sound is best described as one that would be made by the offspring of a bullfrog and a howler monkey.

Getting Around Town

The bicycle and the moped (think Honda Spree circa 1989) are HUGE players here in Shanghai. We knew that before we moved. What we didn’t know was the extreme resourcefulness used with these “vehicles”. Some examples:

Last week, while we were walking in our neighborhood, we heard the gentle hum of a moped behind us. As the sound approached, we also began to hear an accompanying clanking. Not knowing what was going on, we turned in shear amazement to find a man pulling a lawn mower from the back of his moped.

While coming home from work several days ago, Scott spied two gentlemen – each riding a bicycle. What was slightly peculiar about these two gentlemen was that each of them had an 8 foot wide by 12 foot tall pile of trash anchored to the back of his bike.

We didn’t know how lucky we were to have a car and driver...until last night. On a very busy road, in the rain, we saw a family of three buzzing down the road on a scooter – which if you ask me, would be uncomfortable for one.

And then finally, this morning, we saw a guy with not only a queen-size mattress tied to his bike, but also the matching box springs. Oh – almost forgot – it was in the middle of... literally...a monsoon.

Sweet Nothings...

Over the course of the last 10 days, we’ve had a difficult time procuring some basic food products from the local grocery – mainly salt and sugar. So the other night in the middle of our delicious meal at The California Pizza Kitchen, Anne noticed a treasure at the end of table and said slyly out of the corner of her mouth in a low voice, “Hey, they have sugar packets.” Scott, picking up on the golden opportunity replied, “Sweet – they also have Equal.” The rest of the conversation played out as such:

Anne: “You think they’d miss a few packets?”
Scott: “No, I think it would be OK.”
Juliet (in an outside voice): “You need some help mom?”
Anne: “No.”
Scott: “Quick – no one’s looking.”

And …just… like…that, the deed was done. In the span of 20 seconds we had swiped 6 packets of sugar and Equal from CPK and had stooped to a new low – condiment thieves.

Discovering our new world

Some differences we’ve found between China and Texas:

• The Chinese have yet to learn the concept of the “Family Pack.” For example, when we buy a 24 pack of water, the cashier has to open the box and scan a bottle and then multiply it by 24. Same story on a 6 pack of yogurt.
• There are no free refills at restaurants here. Therefore, you find yourself “water rationing” at meals because you’ve just spent anywhere from $3-$6 for an 8 oz bottle of Evian.
• Texas could stand to adopt the “free beer samples at Wal-Mart” concept.
• The “make your own rules on the road” theory here isn’t too bad either. There’s one place we pass exiting our neighborhood and every single day you see at least one car driving on the wrong side of the road. The reason is that in order to make a left hand turn you have to go to the next block and make a U-Turn. Thus, to avoid such an inconvenience, people just drive on the wrong side of the road.
• A “large” soft drink here is 12-16 oz. Where’s the Double Gulp when you need it? There’s nothing like filling your belly with 128 oz of Coke – gosh there’s no place like home.

Parenting Advice - from the Electrician/Plumber

Well today was Scott's first full day of work in Shanghai - and subsequently Anne and Juliet's first day home alone. Work was good for Scott. Home was not so good for Anne and Juliet. The workmen were back to fix the shower - again - because the last fix didn't work. On the positive side, our good friend - the Electrician/Plumber was back plying his craft and catching up on cartoons. At one point today, after talking to Juliet about cartoons (clarification note - he speaks no English and she speaks no Mandarin) he came into the kitchen and motioned to Anne like he needed something. Anne went to the fridge and offered our pal a bottle of water. He refused and she then motioned as if she were eating a bowl of cereal. He nodded yes, and he then pointed to Juliet as if to say "Woman, it's 11:30 and this child hasn't had lunch yet - feed her now!" We forgot to mention, this was all taking place while the Electrician/Plumber was shirtless and showing off his 80-pound frame (coincidentally, that's equivalent to about 36 kilograms for our Libyan readers.)

The day hit a low point when Anne, after just having dodged falling debris in the kitchen, walked upstairs to the bathroom to find cigarette butts on the floor. After this little discovery, Thomas was instructed to close the window (as the "blood suckers" were pouring into the house) and inform the men to stop smoking. After this, they fixed the issue and we now expect to be able to use the shower in about a week. And at this point, we're so used to walking naked through the entry hall to take a shower that really, what's another seven days?

If all these posts give you the idea that because of the language barrier our lives are basically one big game of charades, then we're giving the correct impression. Every time we get out of the car, the locals get a big kick out of the whole "thumb pinkie" telephone gesture we make to Mr. Chen and us mouthing "I'll call you" - just like 14 year old love birds do when their mom picks them up from the mall.

Where's Shanghai?

For those of you interested in learning more about our world, here's a little background information on Shanghai...

Shanghai, situated on the banks of the Yangtze River Delta in East China, is the largest city of the People's Republic of China and the ninth largest in the world. Widely regarded as the citadel of China's modern economy, the city also serves as one of the nation's most important cultural, commercial, financial, industrial and communications centers. Administratively, Shanghai is a municipality of the People's Republic of China that has province-level status. Shanghai is also one of the world's busiest ports, and became the largest cargo port in the world in 2005. Originally a sleepy fishing town, Shanghai became China's most important city by the twentieth century and was the center of popular culture, intellectual discourse and political intrigue during the Republic of China. After the communist takeover in 1949, Shanghai languished under heavy central government taxation and cessation of foreign investment, with many of its supposedly "bourgeois" elements purged. Following the central government's authorization of market-economic redevelopment of Shanghai in 1992, Shanghai has now surpassed early-starters Shenzhen and Guangzhou, and has since led China's economic growth. Some challenges remain for Shanghai at the beginning of the 21st century, as the city struggles to cope with increased worker migration and a huge wealth gap. Despite these challenges, Shanghai's skyscrapers and modern lifestyle are often seen as representing China's recent economic development.

Pudong, the side of the river we live on, is a district of Shanghai, China. Pudong used to be mainly farmland and countryside until 1990, when the Chinese government decided to set up a special economic zone in the district. Since then, Pudong has emerged as China's financial and commercial hub. Pudong is home to the Lujiazui Finance and Trade Zone and a skyline that includes the Oriental Pearl TV Tower and the Jin Mao Tower.

This is a picture of the Lujiazui Finance and Trade Zone. Scott's office is located in the second building from the right, with the two funny-looking antennas on top.

Chinese Food

Tonight our landlord and his family took the three of us out for a welcome dinner at a local Chinese restaurant. The food is served “family style” and consisted of 12 courses. The food was good all in all – no Sesame Chicken or Egg Rolls, but not too bad nonetheless. We did recognize two of the courses – Sweet and Sour Pork and Watermelon.

One of the highlights included what we referred to as “shrimp on a stick” – which was the whole shrimp – head, skin, body, tail, etc. fried and mounted on a stick. Anne, who can't exactly be called an adventurous sort when it comes to dining, was a great sport. Juliet even took a big old juicy bite out of the shrimp head – though we don’t think she noticed the eye ball staring at her before she chowed down. One of the other courses included some form of “fish,” or so we thought. It wasn’t bad and when we asked Thomas (the landlord’s son-in-law) what it was, he said “I don’t know exactly what it is, but in China we call it a fish, however in North America, I think you would call it a worm.” Now if that’s not a statement that makes you want seconds, we don’t know what is.

Week 1 Recap

Well, we've made it through one week in Shanghai. All in all, despite the issues with the house and the cat ordeal, we're doing pretty well. Some of the positives from our first week:

• We made a new friend in Thomas - our landlord's son-in-law
• We've started to develop a new language with our driver, Mr. Chen - it's a cross between basic English, basic Mandarin, and basic Sign Language
• We realized that if we're having problems getting some assistance at a store, if Juliet just smiles and waves then we usually get some service - we call this "playing the Juliet card"
• We learned that they give free samples of beer at the grocery store - no matter what language you speak
• We found out that Papa John's Pizza tastes pretty much the same as back home
• We've found there are very few things in life that a few minutes in the massage chair can't fix
• Obtaining the first two seasons of both "Desperate Housewives" and "Lost" for less than four bucks is truly golden
• M&Ms and microwave popcorn taste the same - no matter what continent you're on (wish we could say the same for Diet Coke...)
• We laughed A LOT and didn't cry too much
• And last, but certainly not least...we realized there really is no place like home!

Day 6

On Thursday morning, Scott had to go into the office to pick up his passport so we could clear our two cats (George and Nolan) through customs. As Anne was getting out of the shower downstairs (we can’t shower upstairs until they are certain it is no longer leaking into the kitchen) and was walking bare naked through the entry hall, the doorbell rang. It was the gardener coming to mow the lawn, but he needed a key to the gate (Anne deduced this fact only after a dialogue of hand signals and grunting). While now wrapped in only a robe, she began to scour the house for the key. At this moment, one of the management office people arrived with two men to fix a leak in the skylight (apparently we didn’t get the memo because we had no idea this was a problem). Feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, and remember … naked, Anne fired off an e-mail to Scott:

“The gardener needs the keys to the front gate…please call and let me know where I can find them. By the way, all HELL is breaking loose here…come home soon.

Love,
Your dear, sweet, kind, forgiving wife”

Little did we know this was only the beginning to a very, very long day.

We set out for the airport at 11:00am with Mr. Chen and Thomas (our landlord’s son-in-law who has been a blessing because he speaks very good English and is going above and beyond the call of duty to help us get settled in China). Unfortunately before getting to the Cargo terminal, we were involved in a minor car accident. Our car and a passing van bumped into each other traveling at a slow speed – causing minor damage to both vehicles and no injuries. While waiting for the police, Scott decided to inspect both cars. Our car had a few scratches, but the other driver was claiming we had caused a 2 foot by 6 inch black scratch on the side of his car. Scott, cool as ever, decided to tell the other driver that he felt like he was lying, and communicated this by shaking his head no and giving the guy the international hand signal for loco by twirling his finger over his ear.

After arriving at the airport we were able to claim the paperwork from the airline and were then supposed to clear the cats through customs. We walked a couple blocks to the building next door (we'll call it Building X for clarification purposes) and after talking to at least 6 different security guards we were told to walk to Building 3 in the cargo terminal next door. Since obviously there were multiple buildings in this terminal, you can envision a very large area, and since the security guards wouldn’t allow vehicles in, we had to walk. So as we tried to make our way over to Building 3 we were faced with a series of obstacles. The best way to describe it, is a scene straight out of “Frogger” (the popular 1980’s Atari video game) - Juliet, Anne, Scott, and Thomas trying to get across lanes of speeding semis, delivery trucks, and forklifts to get to Building 3. Unfortunately after arriving at Building 3, we were instructed to go to Building 2 - so after sauntering there in the 95 degree heat, we were told to go to Building 1. However, Building 1 still didn't contain the treasure we were hoping for and so, we were instructed to return to Building X.

We were told by an innocent bystander in Building X that the only way to clear the cats through customs was to hire an agent – it just so happens that he knew of someone – and it was only 3 blocks away. We hired an agent for a semi-reasonable price and fortunately, we were able to convince him that we needed to see the cats. So we walked back to the Cargo Terminal and came upon a VERY hot warehouse where the cats were at the top of a 20 level-high rack. As the auto forklift retrieved them Anne began to sob loudly and all 40 workers crowded around. As they slowly turned the cages around to face us, our agent announced “They’re Alive”. At this point, we had 40 people hovered over us as we investigated their well-being from several feet away.

We then went back to the agent’s office to complete some paperwork that would allow them to clear customs and get to quarantine. We left the airport at about 4pm and figured our day was almost done. However, due to a paperwork error by United Airlines upon original shipment of the cats, we were on the phone until 9pm trying to sort out the issues. It now appears the cats are in quarantine and will be delivered home next Thursday or Friday.

The moral of the story...when moving internationally, suck it up and pay the $5K to have a carrier handle your pets.

Rain Drops Keep Fallin' on Our Heads - In the Kitchen

Well the workmen came the other day to fix the leak in the master shower. If you remember, it was draining directly into the kitchen. So the first guy came and began surveying the situation. 15 minutes later the second guy rang the doorbell. He entered the fray, which meant he needed to be brought up to speed as well. 15 minutes after they had him on board, a third gentlemen showed up. This guy was not actually here to fix the leaky shower, but rather to repair the hole in the foyer. Nonetheless, he was also brought up to speed on the leaky shower taking another 15-20 minutes. So after 1 hour in the house, nothing had been accomplished but EVERYONE was up to speed.

In order to test the validity of the leak, the shower was left to run for 90 consecutive minutes - at which point we were told they would have to drill a small hole in the ceiling. We said fine and went about our business. 30 minutes later we walked into the kitchen to find an 18 inch gaping hole in the ceiling and were told they had "some bad news". It appeared as though they were going to have to chip out two tiles in the shower to "adequately assess" the leak. Fortunately (as that particular tile is now nowhere to be found in China) they found a "workaround" and did not have to do any tile work. Our kitchen continues to have large hole and we have been told to shower downstairs until sometime next week.

One thing we cannot figure out is why these guys cannot perform their duties without opening every door and window in the house. (One aside - people here do not refer to the enormous number of mosquitoes as mosquitoes, but rather, as "blood suckers"). At one point, we walked into the kitchen - no workers in site, but both doors were wide open giving the "blood suckers" an open invitation to come in and cover the naive Americans in lovely pink, itchy welts.

Workmen

Workmen seem to be all over the place here in Shanghai and our experience the first few days is that often after encountering these gentlemen you're left scratching your head - for example:

The same guy who came to fix our dryer (basically an electrical problem) was the same guy called out to fix the leaking shower (basically a plumbing problem). A bit odd, but then we also caught him slacking off in front of the TV today watching Dora the Explorer with Juliet. A Chinese Electrician/Plumber who speaks no English and has a fondness for a Spanish-speaking cartoon character. Huh?!?!

The garbage gets picked up everyday by a guy on a bicycle with a piece of plywood mounted on the back. Huh?!?!

The house next door is currently being renovated and it's not uncommon to see 5-30 guys working there at any one time. This morning at about 8am we noticed a "Lucky House Fine Wine and Spirits" truck pull up. We thought maybe they were catering breakfast, but no, they were just dropping 15 guys off for a day on the job. Huh?!?!

The House

Our house is very nice, but we've had a few issues the first three days. On Sunday, we set out to do a little laundry. The washer worked great, but unfortunately, we couldn't say the same for the dryer - which are both housed in the garage. The dryer worked for about 30 seconds before blowing the breaker. After 5 or 6 trials and error we realized that the washer, the dryer, and the television were all wired into the same breaker. The landlord sent someone out the next day to fix the problem - which ended up requiring them to drill a hole into the house from the garage. The only problem is that instead of drilling into the maid's room as planned, they drilled a 2 inch hole into the wall in the foyer in plain sight. So now the dryer is working, but we have a massive hole in the foyer.

This morning Anne discovered another little hiccup. The master shower had been draining slow the last few days, but we thought we had unclogged the problem yesterday. Well the shower is draining better now, but it's draining directly downstairs through the kitchen ceiling onto the floor - we can't wait to see what tomorrow brings!

Day 2

Our driver, Mr. Chen, arrived with our Volkswagon Santana (a cross between a Ford Tempo and a '88 Volvo) on Sunday morning to take us to Wal-Mart. The Santana might be the only 4- cylinder car in the world equipped with full blackout protection on the windows (very CIA). No folks, that's not the President driving down the road in an economy car, it's just the Richardsons.
When we arrived at Wal-Mart we got two carts (knowing we would need them). Juliet road in the cart Anne was pushing and she insisted that her baby doll (who looks mysteriously real) ride in the cart Scott was pushing. We found out two things in the first five minutes at Wal-Mart: One, all 22 million people who reside in Shanghai, go to Wal-Mart on Sundays, and two, all of them found Scott pushing a baby doll in a cart the most humorous thing they had ever seen. In fact, the people giving away free samples wear microphones to lure people over and we're pretty convinced they announced to the whole store to stop by frozen foods and see the crazy American man making a fool of himself.

The food we found was interesting. Our pantry and fridge are now basically stocked with muffin mix, cereal, chips, and M&Ms. We were very tempted to go with some "local cuisine" like the Savory Prawn flavored Lays, but opted instead for the American Classic flavor.

Day 1

On Friday June 29 we began our trek to Asia. We arrived at DFW airport two hours before our flight and after 45 minutes with one of American Airlines' most surly agents the three of us and our nine pieces of checked luggage were all checked in. I believe one woman referred to us as the Clampetts as a helpful airport service man tried to stear a cart stacked 8 feet high over to the security screening area.

After saying our goodbyes with Jill and H.D. Reed, we boarded the plane for our 18 hour journey. Juliet was great on the plane - even sleeping for 7 or so hours en route. Shanghai was the most humid place on earth when we arrived, but we were able to make it through customs and get to our waiting van to take us home.

Upon arrival to our new home, we were greeted by our landlord and his whole family (of which only the son-in-law speaks English). We were presented with a key book containing 96 keys - every door (inside and out) has a different key and there are 3-5 copies of each (someone needs to pass along the "master key" concept here in China).

After they left two hours later, we began the task of unpacking - which lasted until about 12:00am when we just about passed out from exhaustion. Juliet (who had fallen asleep at 7pm) woke up sometime between 1am and 3am and entertained herself until we got up at 6.