I’m a Pepper, You’re a Pepper

We have said before the concept of a “case” of coke or water is pretty much non-existent here in China. Typically if you want 24 cans of Coke, you take 24 cans of Coke off of the shelf and let them roll around precariously in your shopping cart.

Well today, Scott was at the import grocery store and noticed full cases of Dr. Pepper. This is the first time in our 3 months of living here we have found Dr. Pepper. We like Dr. Pepper, but our best friends here in China are Dr. Pepper junkies. Thus, Scott decided to purchase 5 full cases of the unique tasting soda.

After spending 6.90 yuan per can (about $0.90 each), he headed for the door. Now, this is not your typical grocery store. It is best described as being inside a shopping mall. So it is usually illegal to remove the shopping carts from the store. However, after several botched Mandarin phrases and a lot of hand waving, Scott was able to convince the clerks to allow him to transport the cargo with the cart.

After maneuvering past throngs of gawkers en route to the parking lot, Scott came upon Mr. Chen gabbing with several other drivers. After one of the drivers pointed at me, Mr. Chen immediately turned around. Usually Mr. Chen is not surprised with what we purchase. However, today when he turned around, he was taken aback by the mountain of soda. With a very surprised look on his face and an immediate chuckle, he spouted something in Mandarin that sounded a lot like “What the f___” before loading up the car and heading home.

Blogging – Catch the Fever

Our level of technological savvy can best be compared to that of a chimpanzee – basically we have none. Four months ago, we didn’t even know what a blog was – now we have caught blogging fever. Whether writing our own or catching up on other friends’ sites, we are hooked.

When we first started writing this blog, we really had no idea how the phenomena of blogging gets passed on from person to person. We expected this would be a good way to keep family and friends abreast of our China adventures. We had no clue that people we have never met would find fun in our trials and joys.

From the Roswell High School Class of 1966 to our friends and friends of friends in a quiet town in Idaho, to the First Miniature Guild of Ft. Worth, an office in Seattle, previous colleagues in Germany, “A Few Good Men” and their wives from Masawa, Japan, etc., it’s been great to get feedback from everyone.

It is also quite interesting to see the number of people who “stumble” onto our blog. We really do wonder what the people in Qatar, Barbados, Kuwait, etc. think of our escapades – “These naive Americans, of course you ate Duck Tongue, it’s a fantastic source of protein!”

Accessories

When Scott went to purchase the bicycles for he and Annie, he showed the sales person which two he wanted to buy. The clerk immediately asked what accessories he wanted added to them. Not knowing what standard equipment came along with a bike, he asked the clerk what accessories he recommended.

Clerk: “Well, on this bike here (Annie’s bike) you may want to add a basket and a lock.”
Scott: “Perfect – now what about this other one? (referring to Scott’s mountain bike)
Clerk: “You’re certainly going to need a lock and I recommend a kickstand.”
Scott: “It doesn’t come with a kickstand?”
Clerk: “No, that’s an upgrade.”

We are by no means bicycle experts, but a kickstand seems like an important component to the overall operability of a bicycle. It’s certainly more important than the bell - which is standard on all bicycles. Who in the world needs a bell on a mountain bike? Scott was not thrilled with his bell, and to add insult to injury, when he and Juliet were out on a ride last weekend, she turned to him and said, “Hey dad, let’s ring our bells together.” There is really nothing that can make a 30 year-old man feel more like a wiener than riding down the street while repeatedly ringing his bicycle bell.

Bicycle Owners

Over the weekend, we decided to purchase bicycles. Juliet already had one, but neither Scott nor Anne had been on a bicycle since the 80s. We decided that “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.” Or in this case, since all of the 1.2 billion Chinese own bicycles, we thought we should probably do the same (basically peer pressure got to us).

Before purchasing the 2 wheeled vehicles, we had an extensive conversation. Juliet walked into the room during this conversation, and after hearing Scott declare he really wanted to get a bike, she stated matter-of-factly, “I don’t really think that’s your thing AT ALL.”

There is nothing like a little dose of the cold hard truth from your five year-old to get you off your duff and get some exercise. So we are now all bike owners. Scott, however, is the only person in all of China to refuse to get a basket put on the front of his. He won’t admit that it’s the “cool thing to do” here – swearing those large metal baskets are only for old ladies and the wicked witch of the west.

Mysterious Pile

The Pile above showed up several days ago on the street that leads into our compound. This is not the first time a random pile of something has shown up around our neighborhood, but this is the first time it's stayed for more than three days.

What is it you might ask? Is it dirt? Is it concrete? Is it rubble from a nearby construction site? Today, the curiosity was too much for Scott so he set out on his bike to get up close and personal with "The Pile".

Upon arriving on the scene, he pulled out his camera and snapped this photo. Just then, a pair of locals rode by on their bikes and perplexingly eyed him. Not to be embarrassed or denied the chance to determine what the substance was, he got off the bike and walked over to the pile. He picked up a stick and poked it to see if it was hard. As the stick quickly absorbed into the soft, gooey substance, Scott realized he still had no idea what it was. As he disappointingly turned to ride home, he saw the two passers-by had now stopped and were turning around and pointing at him. Despite his lack of Mandarin proficiency he's pretty sure they said, "That poor American fool is now checking to see if the pile is dead or alive. What, you schmuck, haven't you ever seen a haphazardly placed pile of crap in the middle of the road before?"

Pics from the Hospital

Here are some pictures of our stay at the local hospital a few weeks ago.

Juliet - at maximum beat-down and "plugged-in" to her IV

Juliet's Bed - She called it her cage (Yes that's a mosquito net up there)

The Twin Bed - We called it "The Love Nest"

The Air Conditioner - "1955 called, they'd like their cooling unit back"

The Window Shades - Awesome Perm, Dude!

Newspaper Headlines

There is just something a little bit different about the newspaper headlines here in China. Here are some of our favorites from the last week or so:

“Arrest over lover killed by hammer” – about a man who failed to marry his lover and instead bludgeoned her to death in the hope of marrying her in the afterlife

“”Sea lion” boy back to normal” – about a boy with deformed hands and feet who recently had surgery

“Mums-to-be suck when they sit down to eat” – about how expectant mothers have a poor diet

“Nude, foreign and sinking not swimming” – about a naked, drunk ex-pat saved from a local creek

“Money and mistresses don’t mix, say report” – about how 90% of officials convicted of corruption had a mistress – or several

“Men want women who look good, says study” – about a recent study that concluded men often choose women for their looks as opposed to personality

“Things start jumping around “magic boy” – about how appliances and other household items randomly jump in the air and levitate when this “magic boy” is in the room

A Career in Procurement?

Today we went to the market to try to find Scott a new computer bag and some shirts. There are several markets here in Shanghai that sell handbags, clothes, accessories, etc. It is a good place to get some name-brand or name-brand-like items at great prices. However, the only way to get great prices is to negotiate the price way down from the ridiculously high price originally quoted.

After several hours of bargaining and getting some really good deals, we were walking towards the exit when Annie spied a purse she wanted to check out. After thoroughly inspecting it, she asked the clerk “how much?” As the woman went to retrieve her calculator, Juliet leaned back against a suitcase, crossed her arms, and stuck out her belly. The woman had barely turned the calculator to us to show us her price quote, when Juliet belted out “NO” in an almost offended tone – as if to say, “Are you trying to cheat me here lady?” Needless to say – in the end it was the cheapest purse Annie has purchased in Shanghai.

Tribute to George

Today we said goodbye to one of our two cats – George Brett Richardson succumbed to a battle with pancreatitous. After two months of vet visits and wondering why George wouldn’t eat, he went under the knife for exploratory surgery today. Unfortunately the diagnosis was very bleak as George’s pancreas and liver were in bad shape. To say thank you to George, we decided to take a few lines of our blog to remember our 8 years with him.

We got George Brett and his brother, Nolan Ryan, a few weeks into our marriage over eight years ago. They were both kittens at the time and sold to us from the SPCA during a “two fur one” special. We were skeptical at the time of their kinship as Nolan was black and white and George was dishwater blond, but nonetheless we adopted them both gladly. Our first memory of George at the SPCA was having Nolan step on his head to try to draw our attention to the cage they shared. In the end, it was Nolan’s salesmanship and George's lovable gullibleness that sold us on the pair.

George was never a very bright kitty, but he was EXTREMELY friendly and always exuded a likeability that was unmatched among the feline community. Some of our fondest memories of George include:

• Laughing hysterically for the first 4 years of our marriage because he thought his name was Nolan. It wasn’t until we’d moved out of an apartment for two years that he discovered his name was indeed George.
• Despite his low IQ, George had innate sense to pick out the one guest in our home that was “not a cat person” or was allergic to cats. He was bound and determined to become that person’s best friend even if it took the duration of their stay.
• George was probably best known for his very loud purr. The best comparison is really that of a low-pitched Weed Eater. When we were on the phone, people would often ask what the loud grumbling noise was.
• George also possessed a strong affinity for the female breast (he got that from his “father”). He would pad Annie’s breast for hours as he purred contently.
  

In the end, we had eight great years and many memories with George and we bid him a fond farewell!

A Couple Hospital Quick Hits

As Annie was walking into the hospital where her gynecologist office is, she passed two hospital employees wheeling out a gurney. After closer inspection, she realized the person on the gurney was not a living person, but rather a corpse wrapped in a sheet. We are by no means experts on hospital protocol, but is the front entrance of a hospital really the best place to be transporting human remains?

Annie also witnessed a bust today outside the children’s hospital – “The Critter Man’s” (see a previous post) operation was shut down by authorities. In addition, his competitor down the street – “The Rodent Maven” was also put out of business. Apparently, it was determined disease-infested varmints were not the best items to be peddling outside a children’s hospital.

Cultural Differences

One of the significant cultural differences we’ve noticed here in China is the sharp contrast to how one handles everyday bodily functions. It is not right or wrong - it's just different. Here are some examples:

Spitting – It is very common to see spitting here in China and the clearing of one’s throat typically proceeds the spit. You really have to be on your toes however, because you do not want to cross paths with the flying wad of mucus as it makes it descent.

Lip Smacking (or Chewing One’s Cud) – We don’t know if this has something to do with getting the cigarette taste out of the mouth but the lip smacking sound is as prevalent as bells at Christmas time.

Nose Picking – At least three times a day you see someone in the car next to you “digging for gold.”

Belching – A good, deep belch from the heart will often garner a thumbs-up from a random passer-by.

Flatulence (or Farting) – Not as common as some of the other items on this list, but you do hear the occasional toot and based on the smell in some elevators, the “silent but deadly” variety is also alive and well here.

Public Urination – This will get you thrown in the slammer in the U.S., but here when you gotta go, you gotta go. Public urination is also not restricted to men – just because you have to squat a bit and there’s no TP nearby doesn’t mean you can’t go too.

The Hospital

The care Juliet received from the doctors and nurses at the children’s hospital was wonderful. They spoke great English and helped make a very tough situation as good as possible. Unfortunately, it is a VERY old hospital and the facilities themselves were not exactly what we’re used to.

Upon arriving at the hospital, we mistakenly stumbled into the local section where we waded through hundreds and hundreds of very very sick children and their parents. It was the most eye-opening experience we’ve had since we’ve been here. Children lined the halls with IV bags hanging from the walls or being held by their parents. Some children were naked. Several children were wandering aimlessly holding their urine samples (with no lid). It was a quick dose of reality.

We made it back to the foreigner’s ward and were shown to her room. What we saw was much better than the local facility we had just seen, but it was still very substandard compared to the U.S. There were two beds in the room. One was a bed that could double as a crib – Juliet referred to it as her cage. There was also a twin bed for Annie and Scott to sleep in. The walls were very dirty with writing and lots of brown marks. The bathroom was extremely old – there was a place with no ceiling tiles in order to let the hot water tank (mounted in the ceiling) vent. In addition, there was a very slow leak at the base of the toilet that led to Juliet getting at least 3 pairs of pajamas wet and prompting a change of clothes.

Some of the highlights of our stay:

• We were able to play about 25 games of “Uno.”
• The first afternoon, Annie went home to pick up clothes, toys, etc. While Scott was with Juliet, her fever spiked again. He called the nurse in and she asked if he had brought any medicine with him. He said no, so she went and retrieved some children’s Motrin. However, after this, we just administered all her fever-reducing medicine ourselves that we brought from home – we can honestly say, we never expected to “self medicate” in a hospital.
• Outside the hospital grounds we were exposed to many different vendors hawking their wares. Most of these vendors were selling very cheap toys or balloons for people to reward their children after being good in the sea of humanity inside. One guy was selling a wide array of small animals. “The Critter Man” as we called him had a good assortment of turtles, bunnies, chicks, baby ducks, gerbils, hamsters, and squirrels. Annie even swears she saw a baby raccoon in his inventory.
• The hospital serves Chinese food for its patrons, but they did not bring us any because they didn’t think we’d want it. Thus, at 6 pm the first night, Scott was left scrounging for some dinner for his family. He was able to rustle up the number for Papa John’s and we had pizza delivered to our hospital room door – both Wednesday and Thursday night.
• Annie and Scott were able to get up close and personal sleeping together in a twin bed – nothing helps light the fire of a marriage like sharing a bed meant for an 8 year old.

Our Last Few Days

We apologize for the recent hiatus in our posting, but Juliet woke up Wednesday morning with a 105.1 (40.6 Celsius for our Asian and European readers) degree fever. We took her immediately to the doctor who diagnosed her with a very severe urinary tract infection. The only treatment to cure the infection was IV antibiotics for at least 3-7 days. So we then headed to the Foreigner’s Ward at the local children’s hospital to begin treatment.

Her fever subsided by Friday and they took an ultrasound to look at her kidneys. After spending two nights in the hospital, we left on Friday evening and came home as her infection had gotten much better. However, since it is still prevalent in her body we are returning every morning for two bags of IV fluids and antibiotics (carrying with us, an empty Evian bottle filled with that morning’s “first urine of the day.”) We go on Monday for additional tests to determine the exact location and extent of the infection in her kidneys, and whether or not she will need additional tests, procedures, etc.

Thank you to everyone for their thoughts and prayers this week. Even thousands of miles away, we have been overwhelmed with the concern and love we’ve received from our friends and family.