Do you need a forklift for that?

We have been traveling quite a bit the last few years and have made several trips back and forth to the U.S. while we've lived in Shanghai. In China, the airlines really don't fool around ... they only allow one carry-on ... it can be a purse, a suitcase, a computer bag, a baby doll, a satchel, or an attache. It doesn't matter the size or the substance ... one carry-on.

This makes overhead bin space usually easy to get, but can cause for some odd scenes such as when grandpa and grandma decide they each want to take rice cookers to the grand kids in Wuhan. There's nothing like two five-foot Chinese people with their chins resting on their knees because two of the biggest rice cookers ever seen by the human eye are wedged between their seats and the ones in front of them.

In the U.S. however, overhead bin space is at a premium. If you're not one of the first 13 people on a 120 seat plane then you're going to be out of luck. It's absolutely ridiculous ... especially when Freida Jo from Tallahassee gets her panties in a wad because they can't accommodate the Lazy Boy she picked up while "antiquing" in Cleveland. You just want to shake these people ... it's called a "CARRY" on ... if you can't "CARRY" it then put it underneath.

Given our immense travel experience we have a few suggestions for rule improvements for carry-on baggage:

1. If you have to ask aloud "can someone help me lift this?" then it's too big
2. If you are bringing a safety seat for your child you must forfeit 1 carry-on. No one wants to get decapitated by the clumsy, beatdown dad who loses control of the Graco while balancing a car seat, a stroller, four McDonald's sacks, a pizza from Sbarro, and a 300 pound diaper bag.
3. If the placing of one's carry-on involves standing on the seat or being hoisted by a buddy then you're out of luck.
4. A backpack hidden underneath one's shirt to try to pass as a pregnant man is not considered "part of one's person."
5. Musical instruments do not classify as "personal items"